HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Warriors Of Zanzibar - Chapter 1

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Tue Aug 10, 2004 10:32 pm    Post subject: Warriors Of Zanzibar - Chapter 1 Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Warriors Of Zanzibar - Chapter 1
Posted by DarkMage (ResidentEvilSurvivor@hotmail.com)
9 August 2004, 8:56 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=darkmage.0809040856061.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Brutebasher
Member


Joined: 22 Aug 2004
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 2:48 pm    Post subject: Ace Reply with quote

That's a wonderful beginning DarkMage and I can't wait for the next chapter!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 22, 2004 10:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know, this reminds me of a story, it was by 343 Salty Beans; anyway, let's see is you can beat his story.
First off, you need to use the code. You can find out about the code by visiting the link marked "Direction for use of the Fan Fiction submision form" at the bottom of this post. Now as for the Spartans, I don't think that you got their attitudes quite right. You made them sound more like Marines that Spartan soldiers. Some of the details were off, like when is the last time you saw a safty on an M41 Light Anti-aircraft Gun? Your details were ok for the most part, though you might try to enhance them at parts. I see you are making this a MP based thing, as you have names other than their own to describe them. This is ok, but it would not be preferable to try to incorperate this into the main Halo-verse storyline. Just keep it MP.

Overall, so far so good, but keep working.
_________________
-MCC
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
DarkMage
Member


Joined: 23 Aug 2004
Posts: 3
Location: Earth

PostPosted: Mon Aug 23, 2004 8:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did i say that i wanted to beat his story? I enjoyed 343 Salty Beans' story also, but i am not trying to make my story better than his, because im just doing this for fun ok? Smile

Anyway, thanks for reading the story. Sorry about the details i have done wrong. And, enhance them in what way, i would love to see what you have in mind (im not being sarcastic or anything)

Your comments about the story will help me on further projects.

Thanks a lot

DarkMage
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group