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Ghosts of Erebus (part nine): Tears of a Clown
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 4:15 pm    Post subject: Ghosts of Erebus (part nine): Tears of a Clown Reply with quote

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Ghosts of Erebus (part nine): Tears of a Clown
Posted by Chuckles
2 February 2005, 7:15 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=chuckles.02020519150110.html
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Azrael
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Joined: 10 Aug 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 6:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As always, very good.

I've noticed you kill off major characters in both series, yet you keep referring back to origin of the "clowns". So your series are more independent of each other, not interwoven in any way?

I like the work you've done with emotions thus far, more so that your SATU series. The exchange between Helljumper and Rhinox was particuarly good, even though it was two sentences. I thought it was great that you explained the emotion and the sadness indirectly through those two. It was subtle, and I loved it.

...I dont see this series ending well, but then, SATU was no triumph of joy either.
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SeverianofUrth
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As always, its awesome. And I always a dark ending- hopefully, Erebus will end up that way as well.
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
I've noticed you kill off major characters in both series, yet you keep referring back to origin of the "clowns". So your series are more independent of each other, not interwoven in any way?

Yeah, they aren't meant to mesh, but they share a lot of the same history.

Thanks guys. It's dark, but there are more than enough "happy endings" out there to make up for it Twisted Evil

C.T. Clown
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 4:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's what I like about your writing. It has that dark edge to it that is not parralleled or matched by anyone around here. Sure, russ did a good job with his, but it still doesn't capture what you do. And I like it that way. Gives me something to look forward to each and every time.

Ooh. Typo - or not. Yeah, that slur caused me to pause for a moment. Interesting.

I loved the emotional impact all of this had. It was real close to being too fast, but it didn't really effect things. I've always wanted to see a Spartan snap; oh boy.


Overall, I see you put a lot of effort into this. It was a great read, and I was nearly glued to the screen throughout. Well done - I'd say one of your better chapters. Keep up the excellent work.
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, this was... exciting. I've read the first chapter (or was it the prologue? Hmm...) and this one, and both are amazing--and extremely dark.

I actually laughed when I found out that it wasn't really Wiley in Ackerson's office, that little section was absolutely brilliant and thought-out, and when you were describing Chuckles' little fight in the torturing room I could see what was happening perfectly, for the description was vivid and intriguing. Great job.

If your next series is still one of these multi-player fics, I'd appreciate it if I could be one of the characters. Smile Of course, if this conflicts, don't bother.

Keep it up, I'll be looking forward to your next installment.
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Wiley K.
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man, am I cool....

Excelent as always. 9.7/10
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
If your next series is still one of these multi-player fics, I'd appreciate it if I could be one of the characters.

I'll keep you in mind.

Azrael, Severian, Cold, MCC, Wiley--thanks for the the comments: Coming from you, they mean a lot. The next chapter will be the conclusion, barring some unforseen problem in plot resolution. Where did that creature/demon come from? Tune in next time . . . Very Happy

C.T. Clown
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Azrael
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, I'm still looking for my first cameo in someone's fanfics...

...not that I'm reaching, or anything...

Cool
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tears? I didn't know such merciless clowns cried.

Chuckles, I'm actually afraid of clowns, to tell you the truth. They look scary - those white faces, evil grins and crazy hair.

Since my monitor's been a bit more problematic than usual, I'll print this out and read it. I'll post a comment to-morrow, when I'm done.

- Dave.
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"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Woah! That's an awesome beginning!

I read it over and over again - funeral dirges, eh? Pretty dark, in genuine, undiluted Chuckles fashion.

I'll continue reading the rest. Catch you later.

- Dave.
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"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
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(Na)Marl
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 05, 2005 10:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

--I commented on the Frag Pile and forgot to comment here. Embarassed Well, I really liked it, especially the part between Chuckles and Thanatos. That'll knock 'im down a peg or two! Unfortunate speech impediment he had at the end. (Turns head and laughs.) 95/100
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 3:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Azrael wrote:
Yeah, I'm still looking for my first cameo in someone's fanfics...


With all these RPG fics going around I'm surprised you haven't been in one yet.
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Azrael
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 06, 2005 8:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, even though I've been posting stories since August, I haven't been as active in the forums as I would have liked. And the handle Azrael only lends itself to a handful of characters.

Even using Helljumpers name is hard. I mean, its a badass code name in Chuckles' fic, but if I ever wanted to use Helljumper's name in my story, I'd have to qualify it kind of, since everyone else has pretty normal names. I used Russ' name in chap. 11 of my series, and MCC asked why he wasn't in it. He immediately realized why- it was actually pretty funny, you can see it in the topic for Minutemen: Battle of Boston chap. 11
(see? seamless spamming! God, I feel dirty after that...)
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FaithPlusOne
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 07, 2005 4:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Excellent as always from an author of your caliber. Although... I'm not so sure why but I got a bit of a been there done that kind of feeling from this chapter. I'm gonna reread it, see if I can pin down why.
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