HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

The Devil's Maw: Part 1
Posted by Conrad Lauf (conniesworld_aka_hell@hotmail.com)
5 August 2004, 7:26 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=conrad_lauf.0805040726561.html

[thedarkfire]

argrave is a spartan?

[Conrad Lauf]

Yep! For some reason, I like to write about adventures of other SPARTAN's, even though it's fairly inaccurate stuff. But what the hell. At least it means my main characters have a better chance of survival in my stories!

[CovieReaper]

i dunno........It was short but it ddint really have THAT much action, if you want some good action you should try out Zeta's Purifiers

[Chuckles]

I thought you did a good job. Coloring outside the lines is OK.

While I like block paragraphing (which is what I do, and what it looks like you are trying to do) you must remember to have two spaces between paragraphs. Your story would have been much more readable had you done that.

Some things to keep in mind when you are writing about Spartans in MJOLNIR armor (which I know because I have screwed them up myself in the past) are:

--They have super-human reflexes (think Peter Parker beating up the bully in the hall in Spiderman).
--They can jump three meters straight up (at least).
--Their bones are nearly unbreakable (I had a lot of broken bones in my stories before I remembered that).
--They weigh about 1000 pounds.
--They are extremely professional, and rarely waste time complaining.

This is just a partial list, of course, but they are good to keep in mind. I didn't write that because I saw errors, but because I hope it will help. Heck, you probably knew all of that already, but in case you didn't . . .

C.T. Clown

[Conrad Lauf]

Thanks Chuckles. The next chapter should utilise those tips.

Cheers