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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 1073
Location: In the tower above the earth
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 Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 2:32 am Post subject: |
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| Ah Chuckles. I didn't like this as much as I did your other instalments but still it quenched my thirst for more gore in Halo Fan Fictions. Nice, I'll be waiting patiently for the next one. P.S. I must say today there has been some fantastic stories uploaded, Parcel 'o Rogues, Ghosts of Erebus, The High Charity as well as many more and a great poem by ENS and another by myself (which I thought was ok) and some more I havn't read yet. Ladies and Gentlemen, The Golden Age approaches faster than ever. |
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(Na)Marl
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Joined: 03 Nov 2004
Posts: 689
Location: --Looking for you! I have a knife!
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| Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:54 am Post subject: |
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--Hey, Chuckles, I read this at your website before it was posted here.  I love the part when Sagus bites Thanatos's ear off. |
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monitor101
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Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 107
Location: Burbank
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| Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:46 pm Post subject: Erebus |
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| Ghosts of Erebus. Not bad. Have you seen Blade? The "book of Erebus". I'm probably being obvious but did you get the name from that? |
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Chuckles
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 1000
Location: Grand Rapids MI
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| Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Ghosts of Erebus. Not bad. Have you seen Blade? The "book of Erebus". I'm probably being obvious but did you get the name from that? |
No, I got the name from the same place the writers of Blade did--Greek mythology. Erebus and Tartarus are mythological names for the underworld, ruled by Hades (or Pluto to the Romans), brother of Zeus.
I almost named it Ghosts of Tartarus, since I started the series before Halo 2 came out. Dodged a bullet on that one.
C.T. Clown |
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(Na)Marl
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Joined: 03 Nov 2004
Posts: 689
Location: --Looking for you! I have a knife!
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| Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 9:20 pm Post subject: |
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| --I think Tartarus is where they kept Kronos, isn't it? |
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Bloodcider
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Joined: 24 Dec 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 10:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Chuckles wrote: | | I almost named it Ghosts of Tartarus, since I started the series before Halo 2 came out. Dodged a bullet on that one. |
Erebus sounds better anyway. |
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MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:13 am Post subject: |
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Your title is fine, Chuck. And I agree, Erebus fits the mood of the story anyway.
Wiley? Hmm. Interesting.
Yeah, I thought that it could have been better overall. It just seemed like it was rushed a bit, not all the way up to par as it should have been. I just didn't get into it as deeply as I would have liked.
I suppose I thought you left out a couple details or something. Some things that could have been expanded, or whatever.
It wasn't bad, but I suppose I was expecting more.
Overall, just don't stop working your absolute hardest. This is a great series, and I am looking forward to where you continue to lead me.
_________________
-MCC |
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Chuckles
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 1000
Location: Grand Rapids MI
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:40 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Yeah, I thought that it could have been better overall. It just seemed like it was rushed a bit, not all the way up to par as it should have been. I just didn't get into it as deeply as I would have liked.
I suppose I thought you left out a couple details or something. Some things that could have been expanded, or whatever.
It wasn't bad, but I suppose I was expecting more. |
This is the one story in the whole series that I read after I submitted it and wished I had put in more detail. I liked this one a lot and still do, but there were a couple of places where I went thin on description. One of those times where you wonder what state of mind you were in during the proofread. Still, this one has hit different people differently. A guy at work who reads it thought it was the best yet. But yeah, it sat uneasy with me when I read it again.
The one thing I remember as I was finishing this one up was my wife saying, "Aren't you done with that yet? Have you spent time with the kids?" If I had it to do over again, I would have put it away, and taken some quality time with it later. But, personally, I do like this one. I was pleased with Loxias, and I liked the direction the story went.
C.T. Clown |
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FaithPlusOne
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Joined: 06 Jan 2005
Posts: 41
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 3:47 am Post subject: |
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| The whole story is very good, well written with an interesting plot. On the other hand all the suspense is starting to drive me crazy, and not necessarily in a good way. I'm not sure if it's the way your creating suspense or that your doing it so often, but I'm getting tired of wondering what happened, what's happening, and what's going to happen, or maybe I just really want to know what the damn demon is. I think your also overusing the "guns belched flame" phrase, mostly because of the fact that it sounded so good the first time I read it that it stuck in my memory, so it sounded too-familiar when I read it again. Besides those minor gripes however, I think the story is quite good, matching the excellent quality which I expected after reading your other series. |
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Chuckles
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 1000
Location: Grand Rapids MI
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 4:41 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I think your also overusing the "guns belched flame" phrase, mostly because of the fact that it sounded so good the first time I read it that it stuck in my memory, so it sounded too-familiar when I read it again. |
Trust me, it's all in your mind, because this chapter is the first and only time I have used the phrase belched flame in this story. I think you remember it from the last chapter of Mission from SATU.
I have been revealing bits and pieces about the "demon" in the last two stories. The full story will come out soon. As for the reason the planet Erebus is considered a virtual Hell--that will be explained next chapter. And oh, what fun it will be when Chuckles and Thanatos meet! I know that not everybody likes the suspense, but quite honestly, I have found that most people love to be kept in suspense until close to the end. Your's is the first complaint I have heard about it. Believe it or not though, if I had already revealed everything you would probably enjoy the story less.
C.T. Clown |
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Commander Demitri Wolf
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Joined: 11 Oct 2004
Posts: 1073
Location: In the tower above the earth
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 5:18 am Post subject: |
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| Suspence is great, especially in this series where it is almost killing me too find out about the box. By the way Chuckles, if it is Pandora I must appologise that I have writtin a ship into my story called Pandora, but I did it before I read this series. Actually when I started reading through I just went, SHIT! Because I was positive that it was Pandora too, but hopefully there will be a plot twist that will meen it isn't, or something. But if it is I might just change the name. |
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FaithPlusOne
Member
Joined: 06 Jan 2005
Posts: 41
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 8:15 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Trust me, it's all in your mind, because this chapter is the first and only time I have used the phrase belched flame in this story. I think you remember it from the last chapter of Mission from SATU. |
Ooh. Well that's embarassing. 
| Quote: | | I have been revealing bits and pieces about the "demon" in the last two stories. |
You mean last two chapters?
Anyways I don't think I'd mind the suspense so much if I could be reading the next chapter right now, but I can't, so hurry up with the next chapter.  |
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Bloodcider
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Joined: 24 Dec 2004
Posts: 25
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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| Chuckles, Do you have the whole series planned out? Or do you just make up stuff as you type? |
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Chuckles
Member
Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 1000
Location: Grand Rapids MI
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| Posted: Thu Jan 06, 2005 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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Faithplusone:
| Quote: | | Ooh. Well that's embarassing. |
Don't worry about it. Thanks for reading and taking the time to review.
Bloodcider:
| Quote: | | Chuckles, Do you have the whole series planned out? Or do you just make up stuff as you type? |
It's always a mix. I had all of the big stuff for Erebus (what was in the box; why the planet is a virtual hell) planned early on. If you go back through the story after it's all done, you'll see a fair amount of foreshadowing. I will add stuff as I go, and some of those things can become major parts of the plot. The smaller details I make up as I write based on how I think the characters would react. Endings are a completely different amimal. Even though I usually have an idea of how the story will end, that usually changes--a lot.
C.T. Clown |
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