HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 1-Chapter 2

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Sat Jul 31, 2004 5:45 pm    Post subject: Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 1-Chapter 2 Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Halo: Stealth Combat Evolved: Part 1-Chapter 2
Posted by Mind_Affecting_Parasite (pbplayer_24@yahoo.com)
31 July 2004, 5:09 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mind_affecti.0731041709203.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.

PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2004 3:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, overall this was good. Just as good as your others, maybe a bit improved. The whole flashback thing was interesting. A different point of view, and new perspectives. A good way to introduce new characters though.
There wer a few time when I thought you could have used a few more details in certain space battle scenes, or made things go a different way, or where a couple details wer off or didn't totally make sense, but I just have a tendancy to notice the small stuff.

Well, you did put action and combat in this one. Not needed, but it was an interesting change and way of incorperation. Still, don't make yourself think you have to have action in every chapter. We've told you before and I'll say it again: action is on the side, focus on keeping the core story good, and everything else that follows will be good.
_________________
-MCC
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address Yahoo Messenger MSN Messenger
Helljumper
Member


Joined: 31 Jul 2004
Posts: 298
Location: Pittsburgh

PostPosted: Sun Aug 01, 2004 3:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who made the suggestion about the rank thing?????????


ODST
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail AIM Address MSN Messenger
Elitehunter676
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 61
Location: In the heat of battle with only four Marines and outnumbered three to one. Piss poor odds for them.

PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2004 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I like your dogfight, between the seraph and longsword. I don't think there are enough of those.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Mastergrunt
Member


Joined: 04 Aug 2004
Posts: 23
Location: On a frozen world with methane.

PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2004 3:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once again MAP you have turned out another truly awesome story. I love your space battles because their one of the few realistic ones out there. Very Happy
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group