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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351
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Mark Lieberg Member

Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 770 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 2:45 pm Post subject: |
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I was quite literally shocked by how amazing you have written this piece CR.
I definantly got the chills near the end though. Now if you'll excuse me...I'll be reading the first two. _________________ Mark Lieberg
#179/1204
"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)" |
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CaptainRaspberry Member

Joined: 20 Mar 2009 Posts: 57 Location: Littleton, MA
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 2:33 am Post subject: |
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God dammit. I forgot to include the series name in the title field.
That's gonna bug me to my grave.
| Mark Lieburg wrote: | | I definantly got the chills near the end though. |
If I may ask, what gave you chills? I'm glad my writing managed to elicit an emotional response, but I'm curious as to what part exactly. I didn't think the chapter really ended on a chilling note. _________________ Superstite es non sole;
Salute es dignus.
Current Project: Ha ha ha! |
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Mark Lieberg Member

Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 770 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Fri Jun 17, 2011 3:05 am Post subject: |
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I might be weird, but I absolutely could imagine this scene vividly. This was what I was refering too haha.
| Quote: | "That's what Gemmen is for." The lieutenant nodded towards the respective Marine. "During the war, he distinguished himself by single-handedly enacting Cole Protocol for Facility KNOSSOS on Reach during the fall. At that time, he worked beside several AI to shut down their cores and prevent their acquisition by Covenant forces while under fire. Earned you a bronze star, didn't it, Sergeant?"
"Yes, sir." Gemmen felt all the eyes in the room on him. He shifted backwards in his seat a little.
A knock sounded from the door. The lieutenant looked up. "That'll be our final addition. We're anticipating a lot of trouble on the ground, and it'll be her job to get you out of it. Come in!"
Whatever the Marines were expecting, it wasn't this. Through the door stepped a tank. It was encased in olive armor, head to toe; the helmet was all-covering with an opaque, oval-shaped gold visor where the face would be. It moved with a strange grace as it walked between the sergeants and up to the lieutenant, where it snapped a smart salute.
"Sir, Chief Warrant Officer Zero-Zero-Six, reporting for duty!"
He returned it. "Welcome, Chief. Take a seat." The Spartan -- Gemmen wasn't stupid, he knew what she was -- moved and sat next to the stunned buck sergeant. She didn't seem to be watching him at all, visor zeroed in on the lieutenant.
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I just love it when people are shocked when they see a Spartan  _________________ Mark Lieberg
#179/1204
"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)" |
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