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Halo: Second War part 7

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 2:13 pm    Post subject: Halo: Second War part 7 Reply with quote

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Halo: Second War part 7
Posted by Carson Woo (chinamancarson@yahoo.com.hk)
18 April 2011, 12:26 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Carson_Woo0418111226521.html
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Mark Lieberg
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Joined: 12 Nov 2004
Posts: 770
Location: South Korea

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm a little disapointed you failed to take note on my comment when you first posted this story.

Do you run these through spellcheck or are you writing it on notepad?

From the latest you have updated, there are more than a dozen gps mistakes.

I like how you finally broke up the dialogue, even though there are some you missed or wrote wrong.

Again, I suggest you get help writing. It's all basic grammar stuff that you were extremely poor at noticing.

There are a ton of sites (google) that could/would help you.

I know you must be excited to post a ton of stories at once, but I would suggest you not. Trust me on this.

One or two, is okay. But three or four is pushing it, especially if there are this many errors.
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