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Halo: Second War part 5

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 22, 2011 2:13 pm    Post subject: Halo: Second War part 5 Reply with quote

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Halo: Second War part 5
Posted by Carson Woo (chinamancarson@yahoo.com.hk)
10 April 2011, 5:43 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Carson_Woo0410110543071.html
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MasterPIE
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Joined: 02 Mar 2011
Posts: 12
Location: Singapore

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 3:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honestly, i have a serious point to voice out: the part where admiral keyes discriminates the Japanese for his country of war is not totally bad, but you have to see its context. 2500s -> people would be talking about insurrection wars, human-covenant, or even interplanetary wars. In addition, readers might be quick to jump from a fact in the story(keyes doesnt like japanese) to an impression of the author. (author is biased towards people from other countries?) Do not give the reader a chance to stereotype you. It will ruin your entire story. (my english teacher was good at that)
One more thing: the stereotyping due to nation of origin is not as serious as depicted in your story; i am a singaporean, but do you see us cheering when japan got struck by the earthquakes and tsunami?
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FYI: I am the 'Lee Hung Ping' you see in fanfict posts. I am sorry to keep confusing you all who dont know me. It just gets irritating after a while of starting my posts with 'HungPing here,'.
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eb4642
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Joined: 09 May 2009
Posts: 77
Location: The Dark Tower of NW10

PostPosted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I quote this paragraph verbatim, emphasis added, simply because I saw it and my jaw dropped.

Quote:
"Welcome to the Forward Unto Dawn, Lieutenants. I don't have ver strict rules, but if you got your stomach lost during battles you're surely off my ship. I have a good relationship with Admiral Hood. He'll make a transfer for those who don't have bravery. And I am talking to you, Lieutenant Hakoshima. I am American. Remember 1941 , Pearl Harbor. And Lieutenant Chan, you are Chinese, but have mercy on this freaking idiot not respectful Japanese. To your consoles."


Shocked

Oh, piss off.
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Carson Woo
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Joined: 09 Jun 2011
Posts: 14
Location: Hong Kong, China

PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 9:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now, you see, you have COMPLETELY misunderstood my work. Refer to the next paragraph after the one which pissed you off. You'd like to piss off too after seeing it. It stated that ADMIRAL KEYES WANTED TO MAKE HAKOSHIMA OBEY HIM AND NOT TO BE SO ARROGANT!!!

I don't think you will understand, but I hope you will post like the one who is above you. I do have mistakes, I admit, but I'm just new to HBO. Also,I'm just in Halo for 'bout 1 to 2 years.

Yes and No to Mr. Singarpore's question. I feel sorry for the ones who died in Japan, but I'm glad that Japan cannot be a menace for a few months and cannot take Chinese land. Say, Diao Yu Island. (釣魚台)
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UNSC Trooper
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Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 85
Location: Overlooking a rebel hideout from an orbiting UEG patrol frigate.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 10, 2011 2:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing

I would say most UNSC officers are quite patriotic towards both their own countries of origin and humanity as a whole. Snapping a chord in defense of your country is normal. But to assign this level of uncultured discrimination to Admiral Keyes, a character whose demeanor hasn't displayed any solid hints of patriotism/nationalism (actually, scratch that, dying on an alien planetoid for humanity is as patriotic as you can get), is not only uncanonical but also extremely naive. You're a fresh fanfic writer and it's an understandable mistake, but be careful not to assign uncanonical character traits in the future.
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