HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Halo: Coral CH1
Posted by Gary Melling (gary_melling@hotmail.co.uk)
31 March 2011, 3:57 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Gary_Melling0331111557411.html

Mark Lieberg · Posted: Fri Apr 15, 2011 1:39 am Post subject:

There is one major thing that irked me throughout the entire reading.

GPS.

The story sounds interesting. Especially the fact that it took the Covenant 5 years to glass a planet. Why?

Did the UNSC just ditched the colony?
How will 200 UNSC Marines stop a Covenant army massing in the thousands?

I don't know if 3 warheads will be enough.

Anywho, I would suggest looking into dialogue formatting and a quick study on GPS. It would help imrove the structure of your story.
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Mark Lieberg
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"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)"