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Invasion Episode 2- A little Trip

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:46 pm    Post subject: Invasion Episode 2- A little Trip Reply with quote

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Invasion Episode 2- A little Trip
Posted by Paul Cooper (blackbankai92@ymail.com)
19 February 2011, 8:44 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Paul_Cooper0219112044011.html
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CaptainRaspberry
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 27, 2011 3:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This... isn't Halo fan fiction at all. In fact, aside from nebulous mentions of enigmatic aliens, there's nothing even remotely Halo-like about it. I'm not sure how this slipped into the update.
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DrizzttheSpartanSniper
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CaptainRaspberry wrote:
This... isn't Halo fan fiction at all. In fact, aside from nebulous mentions of enigmatic aliens, there's nothing even remotely Halo-like about it. I'm not sure how this slipped into the update.


Ever heard of setting? Or character development?
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eb4642
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PostPosted: Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DrizzttheSpartanSniper wrote:
CaptainRaspberry wrote:
This... isn't Halo fan fiction at all. In fact, aside from nebulous mentions of enigmatic aliens, there's nothing even remotely Halo-like about it. I'm not sure how this slipped into the update.


Ever heard of setting? Or character development?


Yes, he has. This piece, on the other hand, is neither.

It is poorly-formatted dross. It is appallingly-punctuated, incorrectly capitalised, word processor-thesaurus-riddled, pound-sterling-infested, out-of-universe tut with a collection of characters who would be more economically portrayed by a rag on a stick.
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DrizzttheSpartanSniper
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

eb4642 wrote:
DrizzttheSpartanSniper wrote:
CaptainRaspberry wrote:
This... isn't Halo fan fiction at all. In fact, aside from nebulous mentions of enigmatic aliens, there's nothing even remotely Halo-like about it. I'm not sure how this slipped into the update.


Ever heard of setting? Or character development?


Yes, he has. This piece, on the other hand, is neither.

It is poorly-formatted dross. It is appallingly-punctuated, incorrectly capitalised, word processor-thesaurus-riddled, pound-sterling-infested, out-of-universe tut with a collection of characters who would be more economically portrayed by a rag on a stick.


I never said that it had awesome spelling or puncuation, all I said was that the author was trying to develop the characters and seting before continuing on with a story. I would rather have an author that did this (not the bad spelling, the development of characters and such) than I would have an author that justs jumps into the middle of a story.
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CaptainRaspberry
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DrizzttheSpartanSniper wrote:
I never said that it had awesome spelling or puncuation, all I said was that the author was trying to develop the characters and seting before continuing on with a story. I would rather have an author that did this (not the bad spelling, the development of characters and such) than I would have an author that justs jumps into the middle of a story.


Right, but this is a Halo fan-fiction site. The connection to Halo has to be obvious and imminent, and as I pointed out earlier, vague references to aliens doesn't cut it. I haven't reported it to Wu yet since I'm willing to give the author one more chapter to get it right -- also, because the spelling and grammar is so atrocious, this thing will probably sink down in the archives pretty quickly.
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DrizzttheSpartanSniper wrote:

I never said that it had awesome spelling or puncuation, all I said was that the author was trying to develop the characters and seting before continuing on with a story. I would rather have an author that did this (not the bad spelling, the development of characters and such) than I would have an author that justs jumps into the middle of a story.


Proper GPS - Grammar, Punctuation, Spelling - is not an option, first and foremost. Hands down.

The second thing is that although this is a fan-fiction site and you're given a bit more leeway in terms of what kind of audience you can attract, out in the real world, your audience tends to be somewhat more demanding. The reason being is that when the average person picks something off a shelf to read without knowing anything about it, from the time they flip to the page marked "Prelude," "Prologue," or "Chapter One" you have about maybe thirty seconds, maybe a minute at most to grab their attention and that thirty seconds alone will be what decides whether they'll want to read on or not.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make in writing fiction is assuming that an audience will keep going under the promise of "it gets better" or "I have developments"; yes, that's a given in most cases that stuff gets better as it goes on, but for the most part, remember that if you do not manage to grab your audience's input within the first minute or so, they are not going to read on even if what comes next is going to be golden.

What you have here I call a 'feather duster scene' where nothing happens except the characters pretty much talk about themselves or the author talks about them, like two maids gossiping about the master while they dust (which was in fact used a lot to introduce characters back in the day of old 1930s 'talkie' movies). Introducing the characters is something that can be done in time to other things. Shameless plug here but I've done it in time to combat with something I call Deniable Asset. Amidst the chaos, there's a whole character establishing moment right there, and at the end of the chapter, we know immediately who the character is, what she's doing, where she is, why she's doing what she's doing, a tiny bit about her history, how she got there, and most importantly we have an idea of what describes her as a character; cold, pragmatic, calm, efficient, cruel, extremely cynical and emotionally-burned out, and not only that but she's actually doing something while we learn about her, and set the scene to the story in one go.

If you know who you're writing for, assuming a competent audience, you will not need to spoon feed them all the information. State the narration as you see fit, let the characters act the way you see them acting, put in detail where it fits or enhances the story, and let the audience handle the rest.


Be prepared to have your writing picked apart, dissected, and picked apart more, so you can put it back together. It's going to happen often and in the end, the sooner you're able to swallow your pride and start improving, the sooner you're going to become a better writer. It's happened to me, it still happens to me, it's happened to everyone here at one point or another, so get to know the difference between feedback, criticism, and praise, because you will receive all of them in time, at different times.

Last but not least, welcome aboard. You're about to get a crash course in technical writing, so buckle up.
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