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Like Father, Like Son.

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:59 am    Post subject: Like Father, Like Son. Reply with quote

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Like Father, Like Son.
Posted by crashedwarthog (wozza__610@hotmail.com)
6 February 2011, 12:54 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=crashedwarth0206111254181.html
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'Nosolee
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 73
Location: Manhattan

PostPosted: Fri Feb 11, 2011 4:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quick read, very fast paced, fairly well written. Good description of action sequences. On the whole, not much character development. Aside from the bit about "The Private's" father and his advice, we learn little about the protagonist. In a way, it was very much like ODST and Reach, whereby the the player (in this case the reader)--given little to no backstory--fills the main character with his or her own projections. If you set out to fashion a story along those lines, then you succeded. Once familial relationships entered the story, however, I found myself wondering more about the sniper's history with his father and hoping you'd shed more light on his backstory. Action is great, but always secondary to characters and plot.

Your writing and descriptions of the action and the atmosphere are solid, vivid and entertaining. Good job. Will this be part of a series? If so, I recommend fleshing out your characters, their relationships, and their individual stories. I did find myself wondering about the Elite Commander, maybe he himself had past complications with his father (or lack thereof) that would contrast nicely as a foil to the good relationship the protagonist had with his dad. If this was a one-shot story, thanks for the read. It was an entertaining escape from an otherwise mundane morning at work.

-'Nos
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