HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Longsword R: Desperation, Part Four
Posted by Sterfrye36 (Sterfrye36@yahoo.com)
16 December 2004, 7:39 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=sterfrye36.1216041939576.html

Nick Kang · Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:30 pm Post subject:

Aaaaargh! I wanna read this SOOOOO much but my comp isn't working!
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Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

SYSTEM · Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 12:58 am Post subject:

Finally! It's here! I'll go tell all my friends it's finally here!

- Dave.

Post Script - Nick, how do you install a new cartrige into a Hewlett Packard Deskjet 1200C printer? It's giving me problems again.
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"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Wow. I'm surprised that more people haven't read this and posted on it. Phooey on them.

I noticed a few small things, but, nothing all that serious.
A few small mistakes with spelling and the like.
Those transitions were odd, too. I thought you could have done a better job with using extra spaces between paragraph groops to distinguish between different things.
A tad of repedetiveness, there, too.

Overall, this was very nice. I was nearly glued to the screan, but not quite. Purhaps I didn't notice as much because I am tired. Or maybe it is because there is nothing to notice. Keep up the good work.
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-MCC

Sterfrye36 · Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 5:23 am Post subject:

Thanks. I forgot to run a spellcheck before I submitted. Also, the repitiveness is kind of hard to avoid, especially in this story. There's just not much you can do chasing someone across the moon. Also, I was sick iwth the flu while I wrote part of this, so that explains some of it.
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FFPotW Winner Total: 2 (Longsword R: Midway 8/8/08 ) (The Letter 11/14/08 )
"I...have...power issues." -Phae

OpeningAct · Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 8:45 am Post subject:

A good addition to the series sterfrye. I'll be interested to see how you make the next few parts original and different. I reckon it must be quite hard to do a series about fighter pilots and still make every part different, but youve done it......so far. Keep it up!

Nick Kang · Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 8:27 pm Post subject:

Still not working...
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Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:04 pm Post subject:

Nick, what's your e-mail? I'll send this story to you.
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

Sterfrye36 · Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:09 pm Post subject:

Gallagher, did you like my story?
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FFPotW Winner Total: 2 (Longsword R: Midway 8/8/08 ) (The Letter 11/14/08 )
"I...have...power issues." -Phae

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:17 pm Post subject:

Uh...I'm not into the flying fics. My interest is ground tactical control, Stealth Ops, and AOLET(A.dvanced Orbital Lunar Ecusution Training) or AGCTS (Advanced Ground Control Tactics and Supply). But it was good.
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

thedarkfire · Posted: Mon Dec 27, 2004 12:40 am Post subject:

Loved it sterfrye. And it's about time too.

Nick Kang · Posted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 6:26 pm Post subject:

Okay, it's working now.

I loved it, better than usual. And I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes, but that doesn't mean they're not there... Razz

_________________
Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.