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Longsword R: Desperation, Part Four

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 6:19 pm    Post subject: Longsword R: Desperation, Part Four Reply with quote

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Longsword R: Desperation, Part Four
Posted by Sterfrye36 (Sterfrye36@yahoo.com)
16 December 2004, 7:39 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=sterfrye36.1216041939576.html
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aaaaargh! I wanna read this SOOOOO much but my comp isn't working!
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 12:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finally! It's here! I'll go tell all my friends it's finally here!

- Dave.

Post Script - Nick, how do you install a new cartrige into a Hewlett Packard Deskjet 1200C printer? It's giving me problems again.
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MC's Cousin
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 4:58 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow. I'm surprised that more people haven't read this and posted on it. Phooey on them.

I noticed a few small things, but, nothing all that serious.
A few small mistakes with spelling and the like.
Those transitions were odd, too. I thought you could have done a better job with using extra spaces between paragraph groops to distinguish between different things.
A tad of repedetiveness, there, too.

Overall, this was very nice. I was nearly glued to the screan, but not quite. Purhaps I didn't notice as much because I am tired. Or maybe it is because there is nothing to notice. Keep up the good work.
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Sterfrye36
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 5:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks. I forgot to run a spellcheck before I submitted. Also, the repitiveness is kind of hard to avoid, especially in this story. There's just not much you can do chasing someone across the moon. Also, I was sick iwth the flu while I wrote part of this, so that explains some of it.
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OpeningAct
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 8:45 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A good addition to the series sterfrye. I'll be interested to see how you make the next few parts original and different. I reckon it must be quite hard to do a series about fighter pilots and still make every part different, but youve done it......so far. Keep it up!
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 8:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Still not working...
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nick, what's your e-mail? I'll send this story to you.
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Sterfrye36
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gallagher, did you like my story?
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 25, 2004 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Uh...I'm not into the flying fics. My interest is ground tactical control, Stealth Ops, and AOLET(A.dvanced Orbital Lunar Ecusution Training) or AGCTS (Advanced Ground Control Tactics and Supply). But it was good.
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thedarkfire
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 27, 2004 12:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Loved it sterfrye. And it's about time too.
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Nick Kang
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 28, 2004 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, it's working now.

I loved it, better than usual. And I didn't see any spelling or grammar mistakes, but that doesn't mean they're not there... Razz
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