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Secrets Best Hidden - The MARINER Directive

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 1:16 pm    Post subject: Secrets Best Hidden - The MARINER Directive Reply with quote

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Secrets Best Hidden - The MARINER Directive
Posted by CaptainRaspberry (jptaber@gmail.com)
15 August 2010, 2:53 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=CaptainRaspb0815101453091.html
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kr1
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Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Fri Aug 20, 2010 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very good stuff, Raspberry. Loved all the little canon nods, mainly Section 2, Sheila, and Malcolm. It's too early to get a handle of where the story's going, but if it's heading where I think, I like the possibilities. Good work. Very Happy
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Arthur Wellesley
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Joined: 30 Jun 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Aug 31, 2010 2:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great job, Raspberry. Very enjoyable. You filled this piece with many little details that combined to form a very complete picture. A rare look at a Section Two employee, and the morally ambiguous function they serve; an exposition filled outline of the mission with a battle scarred spook; and a compelling nighttime reconnaisance on a Covenant dig site. Every part of the story seemed well fleshed out, making for a very satisfying introduction. While the characters remain mostly undescribed, you've certainly set the pieces.

I thought the recon bit was particularly well done. The details here, like the imperfect translation (including Malcolm's intuitive identification of patterns in the place of comprehension) and the delayed sync of the Covenant sniper rifle made the scene believable and tense.

While the whole "Covenant landed on the planet in order to secure Forerunner artifacts" theme/MacGuffin has been overused, I trust you'll do something unique with it. Looking forward to it.

- Arthur
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