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Perspective - Prolouge, Act I

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 10:35 am    Post subject: Perspective - Prolouge, Act I Reply with quote

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Perspective - Prolouge, Act I
Posted by The Meep (cbrooks@rivier.edu)
18 June 2010, 1:44 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Meep0618100144411.html
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Shurmanator
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very well written, it reads like a well-done excerpt of prose.
The characters were only lightly developed, which leads room for further exploration in later chapters; good move there. Descritptions were vivid and intriguing as well.

My only real complaint is that it was a bit too short: usually i can only stand reading a couple of paragraphs of fan fiction before having to take a break before returning, but your stories are engaging enough for me to finish them in one shot. With writing this good, I'm sure I can speak for everyone when I say we'd love to read more.
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The Meep
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:10 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First off, thanks for the comment. Glad to see people enjoying reading my pieces as much as I like writing them.

Shurmanator wrote:
My only real complaint is that it was a bit too short...


Funny you should say that... I actually cut off the last third of the story before submitting it, mainly because I was worried the story was getting too long. It was a lot of words talking about a lot of stuff, but with very little actually going on: no action, minimal speech. Nothing but a bunch of dudes sitting in a hallway for a few minutes. When I was proofing it, I felt that readers would tire out and give up before they reached the interesting stuff in the end, so I chopped off that last block of text.
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Shurmanator
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PostPosted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 1:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well it was your choice and obviously you know better about your writing than I do so if you felt it was too long and droning then by all means, good job cutting it.
Personally I love long sequences of description without any action. Thats generally how all my fan fics are structured, come to think of it... Razz

I was a bit taken aback by this because your other piece that you submitted last week was of good length, so I figured that this was either some sort of reader-approval test or something else.
Nonetheless, again, great job, can't wait for more.
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Arthur Wellesley
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 4:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

As Shurm said, it was a little short, but it was quite good. There are a number of good personal touches at the beginning to establish Gum as a character, as well as giving us a different - perspective, ahem - on some already well established characters. I'm a little worried that it takes place on the IAC just before the battle of Earth - I hope you don't retread any ground that's too familiar to all of us - but that certainly wasn't a problem for this particular installment.

I quite enjoyed the blurb about Reach at the end. It was a very soldierly assessment that rang true, both to the character and to canon. I always enjoy fics that deal overtly with the emotional impact of a very real threat to human extinction, a point I felt was almost completely missed in the games.

I look forward to where this goes.

- Arthur
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The Meep
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perspective is, really, a total remake of one of my first stories here on HBOFF (before I even knew there was a forum) called "A Marine's Tale". Don't read it, it sucks.

But my point is that I've always liked the background characters. The anonymous, stock-cast, unimportant people who do everything else while Master Chief surfs a Forerunner door into the African jungle. "A Marine's Tale" was my initial take on that - ahem >.> - perspective: the same story as Halo: CE, just told from the perspective of a rank and file marine.

Perspective is the same basic concept: the story of the game from a different point of view. So, you can expect to see events, characters, locations, scenarios etc. from Halo 2 in this series. Trust me when I say I'm not being a lazy bastard and just rehashing Halo 2's story.

I will also say that there is a LOT in Halo 2 that happened off screen. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it.
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