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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4378
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Harbringer352 Member

Joined: 04 Jan 2010 Posts: 52
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 5:28 pm Post subject: |
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A few misspelled words, commas missing and run on sentences. The plot seems very "He did this; then he did this; so she did this". Overall, I'm interested to see where this is going... John Forge is my favorite character.  |
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eb4642 IRC Channel Operator

Joined: 09 May 2009 Posts: 77 Location: The Dark Tower of NW10
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Posted: Fri Apr 09, 2010 10:29 pm Post subject: |
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I have done a thorough review of this story in this week's Fic Pick. _________________ The Elitist Bastard | Writing is the business of professional turd-polishing.
"(don't take this review too seriously) If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS??" |
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