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Guns and Swords

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 2:04 pm    Post subject: Guns and Swords Reply with quote

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Skunk!
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Joined: 03 Mar 2010
Posts: 7
Location: Aboard the cruiser SAY MY NAME

PostPosted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 9:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

part 2 is up in all its spartany goodness, i forgot to put, part two on the title cant wait to hear what you guys have to say
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Skunk!
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Joined: 03 Mar 2010
Posts: 7
Location: Aboard the cruiser SAY MY NAME

PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man... dissapointing, no one saw it.. oh well
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kabu
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Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 204
Location: Nowhere in particular.

PostPosted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Don't worry, it got read Smile

This is a good story, with some solid dialogue and pacing. I have only two main objections:
One, nobody can stand four meters tall without passing out every time they stand up. Even somebody at three meters would die of heart failure before they turned twenty five. It doesn't matter how much growth hormone you give, it just isn't possible.
Two, the gigantic exposition dump at the beginning is jarring. Try to work that into the story instead.
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Skunk!
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Joined: 03 Mar 2010
Posts: 7
Location: Aboard the cruiser SAY MY NAME

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 8:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really wanted super-spartans so i made them much taller stronger and faster than they really are. Im sorry i havent been posting new chapters ive been really busy with school and then my microsoft free trial ran out. maybe some time in the future ill get a third part up. glad you enjoyed it
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