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Miklosfy Istvan - The Knife's Edge

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:49 pm    Post subject: Miklosfy Istvan - The Knife's Edge Reply with quote

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Miklosfy Istvan - The Knife's Edge
Posted by CaptainRaspberry (jptaber@gmail.com)
26 February 2010, 1:02 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=CaptainRaspb0226100102291.html
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 4:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have to confess; most stories I review, I tend to skip and skim some parts out of quickness of review.

This story, however, pretty much gripped me and kept me interested the entire time.

Points:

1) I absolutely loved your dialogue and character interaction. Particularly Istvan and his father.

2) I like how you portray the Insurrectionists as back-on-the-heel rebels.

3) I'm not exactly a great catcher of word errors or puntcutation (lol see?), but I didn't catch anything, and I didn't see anything that jarred me out of the story in terms of format or details or flow-of-piece.

So, in short, absolutely great.
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Shurmanator
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very, very nice.

Gallagher pretty much said everything for me, but I do want to add that your brief descriptions of the city were very subtle, yet well done. You didn't overly describe anything, but instead you used dialouge and emotions to convey the world that the characters are living in, and that was really cool, I instantly got an image of a broken down, graying city.
Then ending was pretty powerful also. Great job!
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kabu
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Huh. Got here to late to heap on the praise (pretty much what Galagher said), but let me just say that you could have cut the introduction in favor of a bit more exposition in the story.

Other than that, great job.
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