HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

Halo: Spartans Reborn
Posted by The Fictioner (joeoconnell_@hotmail.com)
25 January 2010, 6:48 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Fictione0125101848561.html

[kr1]

This is decent, although the story feels a little generic. There's a lot not explained, like why the UNSC is still fighting the Covenant twenty years later. There are little things off, too, like the mention that seventeen HAVOC tac nukes could destroy a planet. Tactical nukes typically aren't that strong, and used to take out something like a sole city or army. The threat presented by the Engineers being used by the URF doesn't seem like much of one, either. A small group of them creating weapons--which Engineers have never been shown to do, they just fix stuff--on a single planet isn't gonna do much to the larger UNSC.

Your writing is overall solid, though, and there were no GPS errors that stood out. There's just a few plotholes and little things that don't make sense, and Spartan-Ivs don't make for the best storytelling--it's a bit of a fanfic cliche for Halo.

So, not the best, but a decent start.
_________________