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Shore Leave Babysitters

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:45 pm    Post subject: Shore Leave Babysitters Reply with quote

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Shore Leave Babysitters
Posted by Harbringer352 (nank4@digitalpath.net)
18 January 2010, 12:40 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Harbringer350118100040061.html
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Harbringer352
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Joined: 04 Jan 2010
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Sat Jan 23, 2010 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just a little one-shot that I wrote on a dark and stormy night. Really it was sunny and noon.

I might write other one-shots about Georgia and Michael, no romance stuff. Just two friends on the Sunrise over the Sahara.

I'd appreciate any suggestions for other stories; post 'em right here!
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kr1
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Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 5:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked this. Just a short little character piece with a basic plot, but it's entertaining. Little things like the Watson joke and Georgia speaking in German now and then go a long way to adding towards the characterization. I haven't got any suggestions, but I'm sure you could come up with something good again with these two.
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UNSC Trooper
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Joined: 11 Jul 2007
Posts: 85
Location: Overlooking a rebel hideout from an orbiting UEG patrol frigate.

PostPosted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 6:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty entertaining read, short, yet captures the small part of life on a moving tin can very well. The humor's typical of your average young recruits, and as a Germanophile, I liked Georgia's angry outbursts in German.

For some reason, though, the imagery of little kids and babies on a ship reminds of a certain level of Dead Space. Creepy stuff. Very Happy
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Harbringer352
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Joined: 04 Jan 2010
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 12:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the reviews, guys! I love putting in the little outbursts in German. I'm working on another bit with Georgia and Michael, and I might post a little excerpt in the Writing Forum for some review.

Once again, thanks!!! Very Happy

(Played Dead Space: Extraction just a few weeks back. Controls take a lot to get used to, put now that you mention it I do see the resemblance... I must admit the shower room kind of set up a mental image of a certain scene!)
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