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Twelve days of Christmas

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:56 pm    Post subject: Twelve days of Christmas Reply with quote

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Twelve days of Christmas
Posted by Emmazon (femma91@yahoo.com)
3 January 2010, 11:47 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Emmazon0103102347411.html
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Harbringer352
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Joined: 04 Jan 2010
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice! Might want to work on punctuation, but other than that all's good.

P.S.: Chief is spelled 'Chief' not 'Cheif'
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eb4642
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Joined: 09 May 2009
Posts: 77
Location: The Dark Tower of NW10

PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 6:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
On the first day of Christmas my halo game gave to me
A very angry Spartan


It doesn't even match up to the song.

Quote:
"Shots fired, are you listening,
In the ground, blood is glistening
A Horrifying sight
We're terrified tonight.
Walking in a bloody battlefield.

Gone away is the enemy,
Here to stay is a survivors


  1. This also fails to fit the meter, and at times doesn't even rhyme.
  2. The grammar is abysmal, and the dialogue is cringeworthy.
  3. Walking in a Winter Wonderland is a Christmas song, not a carol (there's a difference).
  4. I hate Christmas songs.
  5. In spite of that, this is about as funny as a car crash.

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