HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

A Christmas Tree for the Sangheili Embassy - A Halo Xmas

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Sun Dec 27, 2009 3:43 pm    Post subject: A Christmas Tree for the Sangheili Embassy - A Halo Xmas Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

A Christmas Tree for the Sangheili Embassy - A Halo Xmas
Posted by WarlordFil (warlordenfilade@yahoo.ca)
19 December 2009, 7:55 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=WarlordFil1219091955471.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Harbringer352
Member


Joined: 04 Jan 2010
Posts: 52

PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 6:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A story that doesn't need a sequel, nor bells or whistles. This story was perfect. I really like the dialogue between the two Sangheili. I've never seen anyone portray them like that, and that's unique.

Hope you have a story for Halloween... Mr. Green

Quote:
There was a little Warthog, a Ghost, a Mongoose, a Wraith, a tiny Scarab which Usze was certain had begun its life as one of the fake spiders from Halloween, and a five-inch carving of a Sangheili ship much like Shadow of Intent.


Heck yeah, man. Gotta get me some ornaments like that.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kr1
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Mon Jan 04, 2010 6:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really, really liked this. It pretty much is exactly what a Christmas special should be like, with the little jokes here and there, the heartwarming ending. The two Elites being partners threw me for a little, but you wrote it naturally. And you managed to get in a good message at the end, with some very nice symbolism.

Great work, and here's hoping you stick around HBOFF! Very Happy
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
WarlordFil
Member


Joined: 19 Dec 2009
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 10:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd like to thank you both for the kind comments.

I have additional stories up on fanfiction.net but wasn't certain if the ratings on some of them were appropriate for here.

At any rate, I did design this story to stand alone, though if you read the other stuff (I have the same username there as here) you'll see details like Nitro's penchant for building models and the whole background to their relationship.

...and yeah I do want to do at least one story for Halloween Smile
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kr1
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well we don't normally worry about ratings and such here. As long as you're not distasteful with it, most folks here won't mind.

And something I didn't mention before, but if you plan on doing an author's note next time, just wait and post it here in the comments thread. It looks sloppy tacked on to the front of a story like that, and tends to be a hallmark of less talented writers making excuses for their stories. I was pleasantly surprised that wasn't the case with yours, though. Wink
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
WarlordFil
Member


Joined: 19 Dec 2009
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 10:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the advice. I'll keep that in mind.

"Distasteful" is a matter of personal judgment. I don't write porn-without-plot or gore-o-rama but some of my stuff can be fairly explicit and I rather feel the urge to let readers know in advance what they're in for, so that anyone who finds that sort of thing disturbing or just not something they'd want to read can save their time and their brain bleach for something else. Every time I get hate mail from folks whose primary complaint is they "don't want to see Usze and N'tho being affectionate" (as opposed to people who actually have constructive critique on charaterization, style, point of view, etc.), I simply reply that they KNEW what they were going to see before they read it, so if it's so offensive, why did they read it?

Would posting an author's note here, ensure that people were forewarned before reading?

EDIT for clarity: I try to keep my writing around the level of violence/sexuality found in a Silhouette Nocturne novel, which is tasteful enough to be sold on a public shelf at Wal-mart, so we're not talking some kind of perverse erotica here (nor is sex OR violence the main point of my stories) but neither is it the sort of thing you'd give to kids to read and whether it's over the top for here is a judgment I want to make clear BEFORE I post it. Some stuff, I could edit, other stuff, the story would fall apart without it.

That being said, anything I know is in the clear, I'll happily post. Smile
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
eb4642
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 09 May 2009
Posts: 77
Location: The Dark Tower of NW10

PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Generally, the rule is as long as it isn't gratuitous (i.e. describing the act itself in every detail) we won't roast you. The best yardstick I can think of is movies: if the content would qualify as the Elite equivalent of a soft porn movie or anything more, alarm bells should be going off.

This isn't a criticism of the writing as such, but more the fact that such scenes do detract from the story, and make it feel more like a Mills and Boon novel. (Except with elites. And better written. Razz)
_________________
The Elitist Bastard | Writing is the business of professional turd-polishing.
"(don't take this review too seriously) If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS??"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
WarlordFil
Member


Joined: 19 Dec 2009
Posts: 4

PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks for the clarification. It's clear to me now that some stuff is fine as is, some stuff will be fine with some content editing, and some stuff just isn't going to fly here because I put too much central character development "behind the bedroom door" as it were. Which is fine--I've got other venues for those.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kr1
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Sun Jan 17, 2010 6:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honestly, I'd say even that might be fine. Like you said, gratuitous gore or sex is a bit much, but as long as you can back stuff up with solid writing and good character development and such, you'll be fine.

For the record, I can't recall anyone ever complaining about sex or violence in a fic here where it was justified. I'm against any kind of editing for content, though, just because I think it ends up detracting from the whole of the story. If it's something you thought you should put in because it's in-character or advances the plot, keep it. We're all (fairly Razz) mature here.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Wisky-08
Member


Joined: 01 Mar 2010
Posts: 3

PostPosted: Thu Jul 22, 2010 11:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Carry on the above excellent work friend.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group