HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

What Once was Ours, chapter 3

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4355

PostPosted: Fri Dec 04, 2009 1:49 pm    Post subject: What Once was Ours, chapter 3 Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

What Once was Ours, chapter 3
Posted by Jake Trommer (wedgefan@comcast.net)
2 December 2009, 2:30 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Jake_Trommer1202090230081.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kabu
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 204
Location: Nowhere in particular.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Three things that immediately jump to mind:

1 - Your politics are startlingly plausible. Which is something quite scarce in published scifi, let alone fan fic.

2 - Lord Hood is not an infallible, benevolent leader -- he's still human.

3 - You keep up with your usual descriptive-but-not-long-winded-and-therefore-engaging writing style really well in this one.

A great chapter in the series!

Edit
Quote:
All right, then. ETA to Earth orbit...five hours, give or take a few."
Shilds' visor depolarized, revealing a half-grin and a cocked eyebrow.
"No," said Hocus, answering his unspoken question.
"Fine,"

^.^
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Col. Knadan
Member


Joined: 08 Aug 2008
Posts: 68
Location: UNSC In Amber Clad II Class Cruiser

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I completely agree with kabu in everything except: it seems like this chapter took incredibly long time to get posted, however with school back in session this is partly forgivable. Two, the chapter itself seemed least a few paragraphs short. C. please do not have any um, cough you know what I mean cough, between Shilds and Hocus.
_________________
I'll tear out skull and beat you to death with it!

"This doesn't seem physically possible!", Micky, RedvsBlue The Blood Gulch Chronicles
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kabu
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 204
Location: Nowhere in particular.

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't think that sex should be taboo in fanfic here. As long as it's not gratuitous or anything.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Col. Knadan
Member


Joined: 08 Aug 2008
Posts: 68
Location: UNSC In Amber Clad II Class Cruiser

PostPosted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're entitled to your opinion, and I'm entitled to mine.
_________________
I'll tear out skull and beat you to death with it!

"This doesn't seem physically possible!", Micky, RedvsBlue The Blood Gulch Chronicles
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group