HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

This topic is for posting comments to:

In Which Nothing Explodes - A 'Bad Days' Story
Posted by kabu (will36@gmail.com)
27 November 2009, 3:49 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=kabu1127090349191.html

kr1 · Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:29 am Post subject:

Took me a little longer than I expected to read this, and as usual, it's quality stuff.

I'm particularly fond of the title here, and the chit-chat in the 'Hog was entertaining. Gabe's talk of sex with a Spartan sounds appropriately terrifying, as well. I enjoyed your handling of the Engineer, too.

Did you send me the first half of this story before, though? The first half read awful familiarly. Didn't enjoy it any less for it, though.

Overall, good work here, kabu. Wink

_________________

kabu · Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 1:47 am Post subject:

I probably sent you the first half a month or so ago.

I wrote the rough draft of the first half in August, then hit writers' block when ODST stole my plot (damn you bungie!) so I held off on this for a while.

This one is a bit too silly and neat for my taste, but I still enjoyed writing it. I hope to write something a bit more substantial soon.
_________________

kr1 · Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 2:43 am Post subject:

Yeah, that might have been my only complaint here. This read like a bit of a filler piece. It was good, but it was shorter and nothing much happened. It didn't detract from the story at all, though.
_________________

CaptainRaspberry · Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:53 am Post subject:

Jake Trommer · Posted: Sat Dec 05, 2009 12:27 am Post subject:

Sorry it took me so long to get to this---anyway,this is filled with your usual dry fare. Your AI character is hilarious, and I literally lol'ed when I read the bit about Diana and Gabe doing it. I think it's a shame the Engineer won't be coming back, but great work overall.
_________________
Sir Isaac Newton is the DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE!

Arthur Wellesley · Member Joined: 30 Jun 2006 Posts: 306 Location: Canada

Sorry for my prolonged absence, guys. I swear, I've been here the whole time.

Anyway, great installment, kabu. A lot of description here, which we don't always see from you. It was quite beautiful. You describe the woods in winter time like one who is intimately familiar with the sight. Being Canadian, I share your affinity for a wintry forest. I loved how you let us see it.

The idle banter about Gabe sexing up a Spartan chick was appropriately hilarious and very human. One must struggle to get around the physics of such an act (isn't that what you're studying?) It served as a good reminder that no matter what the danger or deprivation, men will always be fixated on sex.

The reveal of the engineer was well handled too. The unusual place that engineers play in canon fit very well the oddity of your story and general style. This strange little creature fixing the Marines' warthog, offering a friendly greeting, and then floating away seemed like a perfectly natural thing to happen in this story, despite its obvious absurdity.

GPS was mostly perfect, though a few times you used a capital letter when identifying a speaker (ie: "Hi," He said.) Other than that, good.

As usual, your story enterained me and your style delighted me. Great job.

- Arthur
_________________
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon
Current Project: Vestal Flame. Current Word Count: 27,017

kabu · Posted: Thu Dec 10, 2009 12:45 am Post subject:

Thanks!

Force equals mass times acceleration, and pressure equals force per meter squared. A spartan weighs a thousand pounds and likely has a good deal of... acceleration. ^.^

I've actually been working a bit of "winter forest" into my stories lately -- though oddly enough, I'm more familiar with summer/autumn forest. Mainly I'm trying to feel how a planet with a blue-white sun would look.
_________________