HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4357

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Musings of a Soldier
Posted by Michael Ives (warriorofscotland@yahoo.com)
1 October 2009, 5:29 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Michael_Ives1001091729371.html

Nick Kang · Posted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:48 pm Post subject:

This was a pretty nice job. The paragraph at the beginning lacked emotional punch, but I liked the song in the middle a lot. Just be sure when you're writing these sad kinds of things, try to include things that you know will get an emotional response. You said that Drake was squadmates with the narrator, but I would have felt the sense of his loss much more if you included an amusing anecdote that happened between the two of them.
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