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Intro: The Storm

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:09 pm    Post subject: Intro: The Storm Reply with quote

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Intro: The Storm
Posted by Black Furnace (junkemailaccountforme@hotmail.com)
21 September 2009, 6:17 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Black_Furnac0921090617521.html
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kabu
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Joined: 18 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 25, 2009 8:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

WALL OF TEXT

Gah, the formatting! Insert some tabs in there at least, just look at it! Most people will just skip over something that looks like this.

Anyway.

Usually a wall o' text is an indication of a terrible author and a bad story, so I have to say I was pleasantly surprised to see this. There wasn't much plot to speak of, but I get the feeling that was kind of the point. You start off choppy, but there's plenty of punchy dialogue and witty narration through the rest of the piece. Humor is kind of rare around here, so it's always refreshing to see this kind of thing. Just read through it out loud - you'll catch the bits that sound broken and stumbling.

In summary, this is a surprisingly good story. I wouldn't mind seeing it re-submitted next week with proper formatting, though, and maybe a proofread or four.

Also don't use capital letters for emphasis, use italics.
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