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Babylon High Day 3

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Sep 11, 2009 12:55 pm    Post subject: Babylon High Day 3 Reply with quote
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Babylon High Day 3
Posted by Shurmanator (dyshurman@gmail.com)
11 September 2009, 1:53 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Shurmanator0911090153211.html
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kabu
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Joined: 18 Oct 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Sep 12, 2009 12:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote
You really, really need to start the plot moving a bit. So far, all we have are various escalating social tensions without much happening. We have only two characters, and only vague conflict. Give me something to root for, or against.
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