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hboff
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Jake Trommer
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Posts: 63
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 Posted: Fri Jul 24, 2009 2:51 pm Post subject: |
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Great start, eb, I'm especially liking the rapport between the AI and the pilot.
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kabu
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Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 205
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| Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 12:33 am Post subject: |
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I like this one. The second conversation lacks the punch of the first, but it's still really good. And I can tell you've watched Moon recently...
Anyway, great job.
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eb4642
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Joined: 09 May 2009
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Location: The Hobbit Hole
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| Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 1:04 am Post subject: |
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| kabu wrote: | | The second conversation lacks the punch of the first, but it's still really good. And I can tell you've watched Moon recently... |
What on earth makes you say that? 
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The Elitist Bastard | Writing is the business of professional turd-polishing.
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SNobleJr
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Joined: 24 Jul 2009
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Location: Hungary
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| Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:07 pm Post subject: |
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Intriguing... got me curious about who or what that other AI really is. Dialogue's quite well-written too, in my opinion.
On another note, if you don't mind a sorta personal question... where are you from? I'm just asking because "Szilard"(/Szilárd) is a distinctly Hungarian name; it stood out for me immediately. :) |
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eb4642
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| Posted: Sat Jul 25, 2009 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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| SNobleJr wrote: | On another note, if you don't mind a sorta personal question... where are you from? I'm just asking because "Szilard"(/Szilárd) is a distinctly Hungarian name; it stood out for me immediately.  |
I'm from the cruddy end of Surrey in the UK, so no Hungarian origins there I'm afraid
I named him after Leó Szilárd, the Hungarian phsyicist, because it seemed appropriate. I stopped short of going overboard with the Moon references and calling the AI Gerty, and I just thought of a name off the top of my head. It seemed appropriate, so I just put it in.
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The Elitist Bastard | Writing is the business of professional turd-polishing.
"(don't take this review too seriously) If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS??" |
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kr1
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| Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 2:09 pm Post subject: |
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Very interesting, eb. The first conversation was particularly intriguing. The second was still interesting, but not quite as much. You've got a good hook here for whatever's next, and I'm looking forward to your take on the post-Halo 3 setting.
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Arthur Wellesley
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Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 306
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Wed Jul 29, 2009 5:13 pm Post subject: |
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Very interesting, eb. Obviously not much to say yet, except that this looks to be a great setup for an intriguing story. I'm always interesting to see how authors will handle the post-war situation. As the pre-war canon is becoming increasingly established by Bungie and other sources, post-war Halo seems to be the obvious new direction for Fan Fiction writers. The concept here - a possibly rampant AI on a dead world with deep space missions to discover what it is - seems to have all the markings of a science fiction classic.
Looking forward to where you take us, eb.
- Arthur
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The 14th Wonder
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Joined: 31 May 2008
Posts: 35
Location: wat
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| Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 12:43 am Post subject: |
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I'm with the rest of the pack here: good work. I really enjoy this all dialogue stuff. I agree with kabu, though, the second conversation didn't match up to the first. But that's not at all to say it wasn't well-done.
Looking forward to this and curious to see what you're take on post-war is |
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