HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4378

This topic is for posting comments to:

Attack on Installation 06, part 24
Posted by Jake Trommer (wedgefan@comcast.net)
16 July 2009, 11:46 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Jake_Trommer0716092346561.html

UNSC Trooper · Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:07 pm Post subject:

A lot of political action here, Jake, and I enjoyed it all the way. You stayed true to Parangosky and Ackerson's established character sheets through that big-ass coup d'etat. Hood's in some trouble with those two on his tail. Wink

There were some GPS errors, usually eating up a word or two and breaking a few sentences, but nothing serious.

I'm really loving this series. Too bad I caught up with it fairly late on. Crying or Very sad

Good work!

kr1 · Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:23 pm Post subject:

Excellent work, Jake. Everything's coming together here, and as usual, loved all your characters. Hood and the Chief's scene stood out, particularly, as well as Ackerson and Parangosky, and Stacker and Dubbo. Can't wait to see how this all ends. Very Happy

_________________

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 5:42 pm Post subject:

Well, I'll say it's good. To me, personally, Parangosky seems a little too badass for my opinion, and I think it would be hard for Ackerson to do what he's doing to the UNSC because he's invested a lot of time into it, but, I like where this story is going.

The question I really want to ask is where did you get the idea to do this part of the story?
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

Jake Trommer · Posted: Fri Jul 17, 2009 8:52 pm Post subject:

Well, I wanted to have the whole thing be an ONI-backed plot for Parangosky to take over, but I'm gonna give credit to kr for suggesting Hood as a leader-in-exile.

EDIT: Realized that wasn't much help...well, I was trying to think of a way to retcon the rebel Elites as being against humanity after Halo 3 came out, and I just decided to have them be backed by ONI. It seems to have worked fairly well. Razz

EDIT 2: Anybody catch the Starship Troopers reference? If you've read the book, it should stand out.

EDIT 3: Aaaand I just realized I forgot to thank you all. So thanks for the compliments, guys!

And Trooper, we have an archive for a reason. Wink

_________________
Sir Isaac Newton is the DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE!

Arthur Wellesley · Member Joined: 30 Jun 2006 Posts: 306 Location: Canada

Civil War? Interesting, very interesting, Jake. It seems humanity learned nothing from fighting the Covenant. A sad comment on human nature indeed.

I enjoyed the machinations in this piece. Parangosky's attempt at subversion is fun to read, and you take obvious pains to justify her methods within both the Haloverse and your own series' universe. Considering how much of the leadership of the UNSC must have been destroyed by the Covenant, it seems only right that a power struggle would ensue. You've brought this to life very well here, Jake.

I'm not sure how I feel about the bit about the Chief, though. Firstly, isn't Cortana unable to actually control or hinder the Chief in any way? Even if she could, I find it hard to believe that she would, without discussing the situation with him first. Considering all they've been through, just zapping him makes her seem a little... unsympathetic.

That said, I very much enjoyed this. Exciting story, interesting characters... what more do you want? I wish there were more stories like this, with layered, thoughtful plots instead of the same old run and gun. Great job.

- Arthur
_________________
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon
Current Project: Vestal Flame. Current Word Count: 27,017