HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4356

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Parcel o' Rogues 3 - This Charge of Beginnings
Posted by Jillybean (jbean_gotmuse@yahoo.co.uk)
7 December 2004, 6:40 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=jillybean.1207041840323.html

Phædrus · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 4:36 pm Post subject:

Four good ones in a row. That's a record. Anyways. Once again a near flawless performance. You had one spelling mistake. Otherwise it was perfect. You rock. Period. This is obviously well thought out. It went a bit quickly but I think I understood what was going on about 99% of the time. Nice cliff hanger at the end too.

I think I'm forgetting something... Oh yeah! Funny saying!

Umm...

I don't know which is a bigger problem: my indecision or my procrastination. I'll tell you tomorrow.

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 7:38 pm Post subject:

Actually, that ain't a record. Agent_Shade has the record for 28 fanfics that all got good reviews. Sadly, he doesn't post anymore.

Jillybean, do you write in real life or something? Cause the way you write and how good you do it scares me...
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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Phædrus · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:15 pm Post subject:

I meant four good ones in a row that I read this morning. But you're right. Agent Shade rocks. His were the first stories I read on this website.

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:20 pm Post subject:

Same here, too bad he doesn't post no more.
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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HoZ · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 9:23 pm Post subject:

very nice

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

I noticed more than one punctuation error. And "Sarge Johnson" didn't quite sound right; in context or otherwise.
Interesting way you made your female Elite sound. Nobody has really ever covered that before. I thought you could have done a slightly better job at describing her, and making her performance seem different (more graceful and precise). Also, it seemed as though you rushed through this a bit. There was a fair amount of detail that could have been included to the story's aid. Interesting.

Overall, it was still a wonderful story. I can't wait to see where you take this.
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-MCC

Mark Lieberg · Posted: Sun Dec 12, 2004 12:31 am Post subject: af

This was a little confusing with that dude Wilsly or something. Sorry i forgot. But it was a good story. Cant wait to read teh next. Cause it is mysterious.
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Mark Lieberg
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HoZ · Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 4:31 pm Post subject:

man 7his series OWN3S