HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Vestal Sins: Chapter One: The First Forty-Eight

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:11 pm    Post subject: Vestal Sins: Chapter One: The First Forty-Eight Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Vestal Sins: Chapter One: The First Forty-Eight
Posted by Arthur Wellesley (arthur_wellesly@hotmail.com)
19 June 2009, 3:20 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Arthur_Welle0619090320121.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
SeverianofUrth
Member


Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 483
Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 4:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, that was... it's amazing how no one's commented yet. I suppose it's the length of the piece that does it--but still, people are missing out.

This chapter didn't exactly grab me from the get-go, but the way it built on an already impressive foundation was quite fascinating to behold. Vesta truly does feel like a living, breathing place, and it's filled with its share of monsters and victims. The detective work--traveling, askin', and capturin'--all served to build yet another view of the planet, and it's evolving tapestry of clashing cultures.

All the more impressive because this is the first story I've seen that deals with the aftermath of war in a realistic fashion; after all, where will all those people go? And will they be welcomed? Not quite.

Amazing, as usual.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
eb4642
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 09 May 2009
Posts: 77
Location: The Dark Tower of NW10

PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is quite fantastic. In a way, I almost feel like I'm watching The Wire 2553... you manage to provide intimate and realistic descriptions of all your environments, and your dialogue is magnificent.

Absolutely brilliant... I'm awaiting the next instalment with anticipation, eagerness and trepidation.
_________________
The Elitist Bastard | Writing is the business of professional turd-polishing.
"(don't take this review too seriously) If you doubt this is possible, how is it there are PYGMIES + DWARFS??"
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
kr1
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 6:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really enjoyed this, Arthur. The amount of thought you put into this world, for starters, is impressive. Most official canon worlds don't have so thorough a backstory, except maybe Harvest or Reach. That kind of detail adds a lot to a story.

This was a good length, too. It was fairly long, but didn't feel like it reading through, always a mark of quality. The story itself is something new, too, except for maybe one of your own other submissions. I don't think we've ever had a Halo crime drama, and it's an nice change of pace. I'm interested in seeing where you go with this. You've got something pretty unique for fan fiction, and I really haven't a clue where you're heading next. Good work. Wink
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Arthur Wellesley
Member


Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 306
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Mon Jun 22, 2009 5:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks, Sev. I really appreciate your comment. I really want to build Vesta as my own corner of the Haloverse, and I'm glad to hear that you think it's working.

eb: I'm certainly trying to make this a gritty tale. I'm glad you like it. Thanks for the comment.

kr: the detective angle really lets me get down to tell a smaller story rather than the epic stories of official canon. It's something I've really wanted to do. I hope it works out.

As to the length: I hope it's not too daunting. Thanks to everyone for slogging through it Smile

- Arthur
_________________
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon
Current Project: Vestal Flame. Current Word Count: 27,017
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
StevieTopSiders
Member


Joined: 07 Mar 2009
Posts: 1
Location: MIT

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, I'm reading through and reviewing as I go:

-Is he really wallowing in so much sorrow for losing an off day? Seems a little excessive.
-I love the old cranky guy, sounds exactly like a war veteran that I would imagine.
-The Black Hand? My Paolini sense are tingling...

Those were the only things that jumped out at me. Great dialogue, and great writing. Another success!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kr1
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 27 Feb 2007
Posts: 436
Location: UNSC Frigate September

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Okay, first: Paolini is a hack, and most of us here are better writers. Second: the Black Hand is a generic name, and there are plenty of real-world organizations with that name. The guys who assassinated Franz Ferdinand, for example.

That's all. Wink
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
StevieTopSiders
Member


Joined: 07 Mar 2009
Posts: 1
Location: MIT

PostPosted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kr-1426 wrote:
Okay, first: Paolini is a hack, and most of us here are better writers. Second: the Black Hand is a generic name, and there are plenty of real-world organizations with that name. The guys who assassinated Franz Ferdinand, for example.

That's all. Wink

Well, thinking back to history class a month or so a go, you're right about the Black Hand. And as bad a writer as Paolini may be, I still Eragon, and to a lesser extent Eldest, and to an even lesser extent Brisingr. Smile
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group