HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

Halo 3 : Insurrection

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 1:11 pm    Post subject: Halo 3 : Insurrection Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

Halo 3 : Insurrection <Prologue and Part one>
Posted by Wolverfrog (Wolverfrog49@hotmail.com)
16 June 2009, 5:28 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Wolverfrog0616091728361.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kabu
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 204
Location: Nowhere in particular.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh hey, two stories in a week. We don't see that often.

Anyway, I have mixed feelings on this one. Once again, you have a great writing style that's easy to read and gives a lot without drowning us, which is really great. On the other hand, the plot... well, just to start out, I highly doubt that a dark planet covered with continent-sized Forerunner glyphs is Sanghelios, but I'll let that slide. But an infinite-ammo Splazer? Falling from orbit into water? There wouldn't even be a read smear left.

Though I really like the cross-species politics, especially the falling-out between Half-Jaw and the Arbiter over Lord Hood. That sort of stuff is always cool. And you nailed the cheesy formal Elite talk Razz

There are far fewer GPS errors than your other piece, though you do have the occasional typo. So once I take my suspension of disbelief and launch it into orbit, I feel like I could enjoy this one.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Wolverfrog
Member


Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

kabu wrote:
Oh hey, two stories in a week. We don't see that often.

Anyway, I have mixed feelings on this one. Once again, you have a great writing style that's easy to read and gives a lot without drowning us, which is really great. On the other hand, the plot... well, just to start out, I highly doubt that a dark planet covered with continent-sized Forerunner glyphs is Sanghelios, but I'll let that slide. But an infinite-ammo Splazer? Falling from orbit into water? There wouldn't even be a read smear left.

Though I really like the cross-species politics, especially the falling-out between Half-Jaw and the Arbiter over Lord Hood. That sort of stuff is always cool. And you nailed the cheesy formal Elite talk Razz

There are far fewer GPS errors than your other piece, though you do have the occasional typo. So once I take my suspension of disbelief and launch it into orbit, I feel like I could enjoy this one.


Right, first thing's first, thanks for reading both of my stories. Okay, so; what I have posted so far is very basic, back when I was just getting started with writing.

Halo 3: Insurrection and Memoirs of an ODST are actually on Bungie.net, Insurrection has Nineteen parts done, whilst Memoirs has Thirty. With a lot more on the way.

Trust me when I say this, it gets better later on. Anyway, I'm totally new to this site, I discovered it reading "Another Halo Comic", and found this sub website thingy. I wasn't sure how to post my stories, and whether or not I should have posted all of the parts at once or do them one at a time.

So how exactly should I go about submitting these parts? Sorry to bother you mate.

Right, as for the Planet covered in Forerunner glyphs, it has been said that Sanghelios was visited and inhabited by the Forerunners long before the Elites. Basically, I just wanted a change from the other cliche epilogues which are set on a Forerunner planet where Forerunners live.

The Laser actually isn't infinite; that would be silly. As it mentioned, it has a contained nuclear battery powering it, which gives it a longer life than the usual power cells. In Halo 3, the laser from Johnson is undepletable, I thought I'd make reference to that.

As for the hitting water from orbit thing, yeah, I guess I messed up there. *Gives "Well he's a Spartan" excuse*

Anyway, thanks for welcoming me, and I'd love it if you could explain how this place works.

Thanks,

Wolvers.[/b]
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kabu
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 204
Location: Nowhere in particular.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wolverfrog wrote:

Halo 3: Insurrection and Memoirs of an ODST are actually on Bungie.net, Insurrection has Nineteen parts done, whilst Memoirs has Thirty. With a lot more on the way.


Holy shit. Shocked

What I would do is submit one part a week. Personally, I wouldn't have both stories going at the same time, but really that's still a perfectly valid choice.

Suggestion - don't just copy/paste your existing chapters. Proofread and edit a bit first, catch those typos and maybe expand a bit. And I can deal with the Splazer, I guess Razz .

A quick overview of hboff. You can submit on the main page every week, and new stories are posted Friday mornings. Sometime in the next few days, some forum member writes the "Fic Pick of the Week," a (theoretically) comprehensive review that ranks the top two or three submissions. It gets posted in the "Reviews" forum. The site activity varies - I've seen fifteen stories one week and two stories the next. We also have a fairly active community going on in the forums below.

Anyway, welcome to hboff. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. I'll be reading Smile .

Ninja edit: To forestal the usual question - only posts in this forum count towards your postcount.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Wolverfrog
Member


Joined: 19 Jun 2009
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I see, well, I'll take your advice and post Insurrection for now. I'll also try and do a bit of proof reading as well.

Thanks.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
kabu
IRC Channel Operator


Joined: 18 Oct 2008
Posts: 204
Location: Nowhere in particular.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, I would ask other people on this site if you should do both stories at once. My opinion tends to be... variable?

By the way, I may have seemed a little harsh in my review but overall I really like both of your stories.
_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
SeverianofUrth
Member


Joined: 09 Aug 2004
Posts: 483
Location: Dumb posts & crap stories

PostPosted: Fri Jun 19, 2009 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can post as many stories you want--it's just about how many people will actually read it. And generally, keeping it small facilitates that process.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group