HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

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Walking in a Winter Wonderland - A 'Bad Days' Story
Posted by kabu (will36@gmail.com)
15 May 2009, 3:16 am

Note from kabu:

[SeverianofUrth]

[kabu]

[Jake Trommer]

Aquilae? I see what you did there...
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Sir Isaac Newton is the DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE!

[SeverianofUrth]

[kabu]

[kabu]

[Jake Trommer]

[kabu]

Ohhhh I see. One reason I like it comes from Forbidden Planet, which was an awesome old '50s sci-fi film. I didn't actually realize until after I submitted it, but I was happy with it anyway.


Edit: Oh, and until Dave adds it to the top: Thanks to kr for the title and to Phædrus for inspiring the boiling water thing.
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[CaptainRaspberry]

Heehee, a good time as always, Kabu. I liked the idea of the Hunters suffering like that in the cold; it had never occurred to me, but I think you're right that they probably wouldn't be found very often in usually cold environments.

I think you've got me licked this week.
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Superstite es non sole;
Salute es dignus.
Current Project: Ha ha ha!

[kabu]

[(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher]

Loved it, kabu. The humor, the characterization, all of it. Bam. There.

Good job, mate.

EDIT: Wait, I had the right thread.
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

[Phædrus]

So that's why the hunters in AotCR were so pissed off.

I liked it. Even with the change in style, I liked it. Though you've abandoned the "one-gag-per-line" format, there were still several "lol" moments, including the AI playing cards and the scene with the tree. I also enjoyed the reference.


Overall, nothing to complain about and a lot to praise. Two thumbs up.

[Arthur Wellesley]

Kabu, I feel like with every installment, you get even better. Which is saying a lot, because you've been impressive since your first entry. Yet with each new chapter, you get more comfortable with your style and more familiar with your characters. As a reader, it's really awesome to see.

I wrote previously that "Never Bring a Gun to a Pillow Fight" was your finest piece yet, and I'm not sure this supplants it, however close it comes. This was a little more cerebral and dark than most of your work. The card game at the beginning had a touch of warmth and fun about it, at its core it was really pretty depressing. The chips they used, their excitement over tea leaves, Isaac scalding himself and having nothing else to do but shove his burn under freezing water... these guys are really living misery. Even Isaac's internalized rage, while maintaining a humorous tone, nonetheless conveyed an impotent rage that I know to be particularly frustrating. This scene, by the way, was exceptionally well written, and was a fantastic setting for some great character exposition.

The scene with the Hunters in the forest was also very well done, capturing the surreal aspect of your action sequences very effectively. The forest was beautifully described (I'm guessing, perhaps, from personal experiences). Their dispatching of the monsters had a hint of slapstick while still conveying some genuine terror. Great scene.

You're venturing a little further from Isaac each time while still keeping him the central character, which I think can only be a strength. You're flexing your creative muscles with some interesting supporting characters, and you're placing Isaac within a broader context. Nice work.

My only complaint is a familiar one. I thought that a couple of times the humor was just off:

[kabu]