HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

This topic is for posting comments to:

Pelican Echo-472 <-> Inbound-Stranded Marines
Posted by Mark Lieberg (malieberg@msn.com)
4 December 2004, 2:17 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mark_lieberg.1204041417132.html

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:44 am Post subject:

There is no such thing as Sergeant First Class in the Marines. Army, yes. Marines, nope. But it was good. And I hope you realize that a Private First Class in the marines is the lowest position. It's like a Private in the Army for Marines. But it was great!
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

Mark Lieberg · Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:27 am Post subject: asdf

If MC reads this. I noticed that i didnt spell 5 to teh word five. So just to say sorry that i missed it if you say i should speel numbers again. Any ways. There were some speeling errors in the story and i didnt check on it. So thanks for reading it. Bye.

Ohh. Continue to post comments and read my stories thanks.
_________________
Mark Lieberg
#179/1204
"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)"

Brigade_of_marines · Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 3:42 am Post subject:

I had one problem when vieiwng this, it didn't open like most other stories. It was fattened. The story made me have to use the bottem slide bar to read the rest of sentences. This is by no way your fault. Might just be Firefox. Ah, who knows.

Anyways, Nice. Look up for grammer and jack.

Mark Lieberg · Posted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 9:26 am Post subject: asdf

Maybe it is the way your internet is set up. Or you desktop size. Juist adjust it and all that. Well thanks and i wil watch for those mistakes.
_________________
Mark Lieberg
#179/1204
"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)"

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Can't he just call him a Master Sergeant? Bah! In this case, I suppose you can say 1st Sergeant safely.
Watch that grammar, too. Just make sure that your verb tenses stay consistant.

Oh, you missed two "3"s, too. Also, spell out percentages; it looks much better.

There are [hr]s you know.

Overall, this is alright, but it needs some detail (explenation and description) to beef it up. Also, proofread these more, you could catch some of those numbers and other small mistakes by going over it a couple times (I suggest you have a couple friends read through it, too). Keep working.
_________________
-MCC

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 4:52 am Post subject:

You're not supposed to say 1st Sergeant! There is no such thing! Jesus!
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

Mark Lieberg · Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 6:24 am Post subject: sdhg

To tell you the truth ENS there is. I looked up a hole s**t load of ranks and found them check this web.

http://www.ecsu.ctstateu.edu/personal/faculty/pocock/ranks.htm

plus what is hr MC?
_________________
Mark Lieberg
#179/1204
"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)"

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Horizontal rule. Helps with transitions. Check out the coding guide.
_________________
-MCC

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:54 pm Post subject:

When I was in the Marines, I never saw a f***ing First Sergeant. It's mostly Master Gunnery Sergeants. Plus, that site is out of date, and listen to the veteran when Marines don't really have First Sergeants.
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

Mark Lieberg · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:15 am Post subject: asdf

Well i also found another web site cause i was so interested in ranks to improve on my story. I will quickly change the stuff. Well here is another web.

It is supposed to be Tom Clancys something. But here it is.

http://www.clancyfaq.com/milranks.htm

Hope this web is correct cause it is the closest i got to ranks and picture with it. I am starting my next chapter now. So hope you like it when it appears.
_________________
Mark Lieberg
#179/1204
"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)"

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:45 pm Post subject:

All marines must at least get a Soldier of Fortune pendant before becoming a Master Sergeant. But some are battle promoted, and First Sergeant is the battle promotion class of Master Sergeant. So this First Sergeant in your story must be a pussy.
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures