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Pelican Echo-472 <-> Inbound-Stranded Marines

 
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2004 11:26 am    Post subject: Pelican Echo-472 <-> Inbound-Stranded Marines Reply with quote

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Pelican Echo-472 <-> Inbound-Stranded Marines
Posted by Mark Lieberg (malieberg@msn.com)
4 December 2004, 2:17 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=mark_lieberg.1204041417132.html
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 12:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

There is no such thing as Sergeant First Class in the Marines. Army, yes. Marines, nope. But it was good. And I hope you realize that a Private First Class in the marines is the lowest position. It's like a Private in the Army for Marines. But it was great!
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Mark Lieberg
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:27 am    Post subject: asdf Reply with quote

If MC reads this. I noticed that i didnt spell 5 to teh word five. So just to say sorry that i missed it if you say i should speel numbers again. Any ways. There were some speeling errors in the story and i didnt check on it. So thanks for reading it. Bye.

Ohh. Continue to post comments and read my stories thanks.
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Brigade_of_marines
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 3:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I had one problem when vieiwng this, it didn't open like most other stories. It was fattened. The story made me have to use the bottem slide bar to read the rest of sentences. This is by no way your fault. Might just be Firefox. Ah, who knows.

Anyways, Nice. Look up for grammer and jack.
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 9:26 am    Post subject: asdf Reply with quote

Maybe it is the way your internet is set up. Or you desktop size. Juist adjust it and all that. Well thanks and i wil watch for those mistakes.
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 09, 2004 11:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Can't he just call him a Master Sergeant? Bah! In this case, I suppose you can say 1st Sergeant safely.
Watch that grammar, too. Just make sure that your verb tenses stay consistant.

Oh, you missed two "3"s, too. Also, spell out percentages; it looks much better.

There are [hr]s you know.

Overall, this is alright, but it needs some detail (explenation and description) to beef it up. Also, proofread these more, you could catch some of those numbers and other small mistakes by going over it a couple times (I suggest you have a couple friends read through it, too). Keep working.
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 4:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You're not supposed to say 1st Sergeant! There is no such thing! Jesus!
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 6:24 am    Post subject: sdhg Reply with quote

To tell you the truth ENS there is. I looked up a hole s**t load of ranks and found them check this web.

http://www.ecsu.ctstateu.edu/personal/faculty/pocock/ranks.htm


plus what is hr MC?
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 4:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Horizontal rule. Helps with transitions. Check out the coding guide.
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 10, 2004 9:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I was in the Marines, I never saw a f***ing First Sergeant. It's mostly Master Gunnery Sergeants. Plus, that site is out of date, and listen to the veteran when Marines don't really have First Sergeants.
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:15 am    Post subject: asdf Reply with quote

Well i also found another web site cause i was so interested in ranks to improve on my story. I will quickly change the stuff. Well here is another web.

It is supposed to be Tom Clancys something. But here it is.

http://www.clancyfaq.com/milranks.htm

Hope this web is correct cause it is the closest i got to ranks and picture with it. I am starting my next chapter now. So hope you like it when it appears.
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 5:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

All marines must at least get a Soldier of Fortune pendant before becoming a Master Sergeant. But some are battle promoted, and First Sergeant is the battle promotion class of Master Sergeant. So this First Sergeant in your story must be a pussy.
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