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Shattered Skies - Chapter 1

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 4:24 pm    Post subject: Shattered Skies - Chapter 1 Reply with quote

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Shattered Skies - Chapter 1
Posted by Webbo227 (webbo128@hotmail.co.uk)
15 October 2008, 6:51 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Webbo2271015081851121.html
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Azrael
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Joined: 10 Aug 2004
Posts: 504
Location: Boston

PostPosted: Fri Oct 17, 2008 11:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I liked this a lot. I didn't have any trouble with the setting, I saw that arid dust storm world really well, and you did a great job of setting up Sam for a...well...fall. There were a handful of spelling errors, including this:

"Sam wasn't a man chemist or a professor"

...Which is pretty funny.

I actually like the katana, you dealt with it well. You set the stage for chapter 2 pretty well. Good start!
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