HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

This topic is for posting comments to:

Shattered Skies - Chapter 1
Posted by Webbo227 (webbo128@hotmail.co.uk)
15 October 2008, 6:51 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Webbo2271015081851121.html

Azrael · Member Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 504 Location: Boston

I liked this a lot. I didn't have any trouble with the setting, I saw that arid dust storm world really well, and you did a great job of setting up Sam for a...well...fall. There were a handful of spelling errors, including this:

"Sam wasn't a man chemist or a professor"

...Which is pretty funny.

I actually like the katana, you dealt with it well. You set the stage for chapter 2 pretty well. Good start!
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...now that's some gritty shizzle.