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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351
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Mark Lieberg Member

Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 770 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 10:31 pm Post subject: .. |
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I am sorry but, at the part of the story when it says
The Chief start to fall backwards and it tilted.
I meant ship. I must of typed to fast and quickly. Sorry for teh confusion thanks. _________________ Mark Lieberg
#179/1204
"Studying Computer Information Systems (That's Programming for you retards out there)" |
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SYSTEM The Hammer

Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 3744 Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 2:39 am Post subject: |
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Aie. You've got problems with fragments. Even "The ship started to fall backwards and it tilted," is quite problematic.
Remember, watch your grammar. Have a friend read it over before you put it up. Better, ask an aqquaintance, or a teacher.
- Dave. |
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Grunt-Boy Member
Joined: 28 Aug 2004 Posts: 36 Location: In a land so myserious, so desolate, so...so...um...o well i just live in South Carolina
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 3:10 am Post subject: |
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| Man, I haven't been here in a while. Is MCC still here? Oh well. Pretty good. That Chief thing did confuse me, but thanks for the clear up. SOme minor typos and grammar, but overall, keep writing. |
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SYSTEM The Hammer

Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 3744 Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 3:13 am Post subject: |
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Yeh! Sorry, I forgot to mention,
"Good Luck, and may fortune favour you, and may you break fewer pencils."
- Dave. |
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Mark Lieberg Member

Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 770 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 3:37 am Post subject: ftuo |
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Well. I just want to ask did you guys get the point of what is happening in the story? Well thanks for the tips I guess i wil keep writing. I am just so dang bored. Well se ya, and Thanks DAVE. That was a....weird...tip.LOL _________________ Mark Lieberg
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher Member

Joined: 19 Oct 2004 Posts: 1218 Location: Always here to help
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 6:17 am Post subject: |
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It was good Mark. And are you actually in the military? If that's the case, I think I might of met you at the Naval Reunion at Fort Davis. _________________
"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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Mark Lieberg Member

Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 770 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 10:36 am Post subject: lol |
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ENS No I aint in teh military. I plan to maybe though.
What made you think I was? I am only 13. Well Anyways. Thanks for the comments. I wil start the Next chapter right now. Since it is late and i am tired.
ENS...tell me why you thought I was in the military? Plus, did you know that people on teh Halo internet battles, they make me the commander to lead them to get the flags? Interesting huh?
Lots of people know me on the batle front. But well Anyways thanks for the comments. Bye bye. _________________ Mark Lieberg
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher Member

Joined: 19 Oct 2004 Posts: 1218 Location: Always here to help
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 6:55 pm Post subject: |
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It was your location. But that commander stuff on Halo is a waste of time. Never elect someone to commander, just like that. Have ranks, weapon read-outs, squad rosters! Sweet Jesus, the guys on Halo 2 know what they're doing when they assign me to get the flag. I take two men and have them create a diverson while I air-drop from a banshee and into their base. Shotgun and Sword are good choices in that kind of attack. Go down under, steal the flag, have someone jump in the banshee, and I ride on the wing.
Yes, you can ride on the wing. I did it. I claim to be the first person to do it. Try it. The guy in the banshee can't boost or you'll fall off. And you do as high as you can in any muliplayer level, jump out, AND YOU WON'T DIE! I claim to be the first person to find out on that too. _________________
"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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CrouchingWeasel Member
Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 5
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 10:30 pm Post subject: |
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| this was a tad confusing... did they find another halo, after the destruction of the original... or is this a retelling of the discovery of the first? |
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CrouchingWeasel Member
Joined: 04 Dec 2004 Posts: 5
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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| wait, nvm. title gives it away... right. don't mind the idiot. |
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SYSTEM The Hammer

Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 3744 Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie
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Posted: Sat Dec 04, 2004 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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Breaking pencils - that's my curse. I don't want the same thing to happen to you.
- Dave. |
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Mark Lieberg Member

Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 770 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 12:36 am Post subject: dsyui |
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Dont worry Dave. The next chapter should be on the next posting. Plus this is another Halo ring. As you can read the title it is a third ring. By the meaning of third it is the 3rd one that is found. The second is the one where Johnson is at and all that.
To answer ESN i think..sorry...i dont have xboxlive so until it comes out on pc then i will and might be able to challenge you. Well anyways. The next chapter is about destroying the COntroll Room and there is an aquard space battle.
Although i am not sure i made it reall enough for people to picture it. LOL.
Well post comments on teh next story ok people. And thanks for reading. _________________ Mark Lieberg
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SYSTEM The Hammer

Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 3744 Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 1:10 am Post subject: |
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Good luck, Mark, and happy hunting.
Before long, I'm sure they'll invent a way to hook a computer to an Xbox.
And of course, I'll invent some way to turn my ten-watt guitar amplifier into a full-blown surround sound studio built into the walls using some odd, dangerous, duct-tape-n'-spit Dave-Luck kinda thing.
- Dave. |
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Mark Lieberg Member

Joined: 12 Nov 2004 Posts: 770 Location: South Korea
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Posted: Sun Dec 05, 2004 2:07 am Post subject: |
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Dave. That was just to funny. Yeah. I gues you will be able to do it. Like in Back to the Future num 1 Marty blows the huge sound system. Mad Funny. _________________ Mark Lieberg
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