HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Survival Instincts, Chapter 2
Posted by GLADIATRRR3000 (gladiatrrr3000@hotmail.com)
29 November 2004, 4:19 AM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=gladiatrrr30.1129040419173.html

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Don't forget to spell out those little numbers.

Hey! I remeber this story! 'Bout some kid and stuff. Man, it has been a while.

Anyway. You need to work on details. Things went by too fast and left some stuff undescribed and unexplained. Fix that.

Otherwise, just work on improving your general structure and grammar and what not.

Overall, it was pretty good, but, I still have your next one to read.
_________________
-MCC

SYSTEM · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 2:28 am Post subject:

This one's on the fridge door of fame, man. Cheers to you!
(Thile saying the last fragment, pour yourself and a friend a big glass of cola each for best results.)

- Dave.

SYSTEM · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 2:29 am Post subject:

Aieee! typo!

It's "WHILE" not "Thile"

I guess my fingers are a little more tired than I thought.

- Dave.