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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4351
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(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher
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Joined: 19 Oct 2004
Posts: 1218
Location: Always here to help
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 Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:59 am Post subject: |
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This is one of the better poems you have written. I like it
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures |
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MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.
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| Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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I'll admit that I thought it was slightly corny. Used a few too many lines from the actual cutscene.
Other than that, I think you did as good a job as you did earlier with your "The Arbiter" poem. Nice. You seem to be well suited to poeming-up those cutscenes.
But still, where is another story?
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Mind_Affecting_Parasite
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Joined: 26 Sep 2004
Posts: 61
Location: Believe me, If I knew, I'd tell you.
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| Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 10:03 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the reviews, guys. I've never really been into poems, but, it's still kinda fun to dish out onw now and again.
About the story, I am working on it right now. I'm letting a few friends proofread over it, and should have it out by next posting. But, I could use a little help from you guys.
I would like to know about the specifics of how many soldiers are in a platoon and division and squad and stuff like that. All the way to the top. Things like Fire Teams and sniper teams rocket jockeys, anything that might help me to understand military movement and units better would be appreciated.
Once again, thanks for any reviews you give me. They help me keep writing. |
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Solidus Snake
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 281
Location: A dying Metal Community
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| Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 10:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Kinda corny but not too bad. Just keep working and you'll become a great poet. |
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MC's Cousin
Mr. 1337
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 2142
Location: Here.
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| Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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Dang. Unfortunately, MAP, I haven't had time to comit all that stuff to memory. Someone else will have to help you out this time. Until I have time to look it up, that is.
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Chuckles
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Joined: 29 Jul 2004
Posts: 1000
Location: Grand Rapids MI
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| Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 8:34 am Post subject: |
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Good job. You used an awful lot of the cut-scene dialogue, but at least you made it flow well with your own writing. All in all, nice poem.
C.T. Clown |
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