HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

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Project PEGASUS: Chapter 0
Posted by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher (rabid_masterchief@hotmail.com)
9 July 2008, 10:37 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ENS_Rabid_Ga0709082237301.html

Jake Trommer · Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 2:19 pm Post subject:

Wow, excellent start to an intriguing story, Gallagher. Can't wait to see where this goes.
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Sir Isaac Newton is the DEADLIEST SON OF A BITCH IN SPACE!

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Fri Jul 11, 2008 5:42 pm Post subject:

Thanks.

Now, for some ANs:

1) The appearance of General Lambert is based off of Sean Bean.
2) All loose plotlines that are evident here, and in You Know My Name, will be settled.
3) The main POVs here in this story are from the land team, ONI/UNSC, and then Ackerson and Earthside.

Just FYI.
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

UNSC Trooper · Posted: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:54 pm Post subject:

Even though it's a prologue, I don't think it's too long. I think it's just the right length for a new series.

You displayed a really good ability of having two characters talking to each other through other means. I loved the part where Gallagher talked to the girl in the kitchen.

However, Ackerson seems a little too badass here, repeatedly cussing with no apparent reason. Though one part caught my attention.

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:22 am Post subject:

Thanks! I didn't think it wasn't too long either, but dammit, this series needs it.

And thanks for the other means mention. I knew a guy who had a sister like that, and they would talk like that, and then he would just slip out of it like a fat kid covered in grease going down a big slide. I actually based that scene off of a dinner that I had with him one time.

And, with Ackerson and some of the other characters, there is almost always a reason for behavior like that. Wink

And thanks for reviewing, Trooper! Apparently you're the only one who likes to do that! Very Happy

(Kidding, but, seriously, do you guys, like, hate me?)
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

Arthur Wellesley · Member Joined: 30 Jun 2006 Posts: 306 Location: Canada

kr1 · Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 10:38 pm Post subject:

Finally got around to reading this, Gallagher, and I'd say it's a solid piece. Like Arthur, I'm not a fan of the bold and underlining in the text, but to each his own. I didn't think it was too long, either. There were a couple GPS errors, too, but nothing too noticeable. Good work.

Oh, and in the opening section, you mentioned Project Xenu, I believe. Is this in any of your older work, and can you PM me some info about it? Sounds interesting.

Edit: And I think Ackerson works well as a screaming asshole. There's no real indication of it in Nylund's stuff, but I like it. Wink

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