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Court of Darkness (chapter eight): Pray for Sunrise

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:56 pm    Post subject: Court of Darkness (chapter eight): Pray for Sunrise Reply with quote

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Court of Darkness (chapter eight): Pray for Sunrise
Posted by Chuckles
6 June 2008, 5:47 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Chuckles0606080547061.html
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Sterfrye36
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck,

There are few series that hold my attention throughout their run and your clown trilogy has done that. You really ought to write a collection of short stories and make a book of it. Heck, I'd buy it. Smile

You are, sir, the Batman of fan fiction. Razz
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was going to make this the final chapter, but the story wouldn't let me do it. That being the case, I had to move some of the backstory on Cairren O'Carrol/Aimee Peel to the next chapter. That backstory would have refreshed the reader's memory that Aimee Peel and Cairren O'Carrol are the same person. As has been explained in past chapters, she was known as Aimee Peel in her darker past, but changed her name to Cairren O'Carrol when she left (for reasons you'll learn in the next chapter) and tried to disappear.

Cairren is Aimee. Aimee is Cairren.

It's been awhile, so I didn't want to throw anyone off. If you have any other questions about anything that you didn't understand, feel free to ask. I'd like to thank everyone who took the time to read this. I really appreciate it.

I'd also like to clarify something Azathoth said on the Fic Pick thread:
Quote:
Always a tough call; this week it was made tougher by the sheer abundance of submissions, and the return of the Grand Old Men of HBOFF, or at least a subset thereof. Azrael's latest installment in the Minutemen series is another great submission from a master of the war story; Chuckles's long-awaited chapter of Court of Darkness was a good old-fashioned spine-chiller in his finest tradition. The problem with both is that if you haven't been following them it might be too late for you to start. Az's Cronin Protocol is three years in the making, and the rough-and-ready Minutemen don't look nearly finished yet; the story is about 200 pages as it stands (72,000 words). Chuck's Clown Cycle, however, is well over 300 pages and 110,000 words, even if you don't count the myriad single stories he did before the "Big Three" (Waking the Dead, Ghosts of Erebus and Court of Darkness). Although you technically don't need to read the first two to get the basic plotline of CoD, you'll be missing a lot if you don't. If you feel like reading a decent-sized novel, by all means do so, and your appreciation of the great writing talents of Az and the Clown will be furthered.

First off, thanks for the generous description of my stories, Azathoth. You really took the time to catch folks up on my work and Azrael's as well. All I want to add is that while two of my three series are related (Court is a sequel to Ghosts but Waking is a stand alone) the plot of Court is wholly unrelated to the plot of Ghosts except for the fact that they have some of the same characters. Court was written to be understood just as if it were a stand alone fic. I intentionally wrote it with the assumption that the reader would have no knowledge of Ghosts to make sure that I wouldn't confuse new readers. Or, to spell it out more clearly, you can read and understand Court or any of my other fics just fine all on their own. Azathoth actually said something close to that, but I wanted to make sure it was clear. Thanks again, Azathoth.

Oh, and thanks for the plug, Ster. I'll be getting your latest back to you this weekend, now that my plate is somewhat clear.

C.T. Clown
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SYSTEM
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 7:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The first part of this really reached out to me. I've had my share of fights in elementary school and aside from, well, okay you don't need to know that story, they haven't been half as brutal as that eye-gouging. I like the way you ramped it up as I read along; starts with something minor, throw a few nasty words in there, and then stand back and watch the rest of the little pipsqueaks fight it out. Normally when kids fight I just end up laughing because they don't actually do any real damage although they take themselves so seriously, but this time I didn't laugh at all. The way you portray what would normally appear to be some mild boys-versus-girls teasing and a following schoolyard scuffle is just that brutal and I like the way she handled it. You take everything funny - clowns, schoolyard fights, multiplayer, and make it scary and that's one of the things I like so much, and you do it without the need for lots of description. Without superfluous detail or long confusing sentence structure nothing gets in the way of the story and it is able to progress at a good pace. I like that.

Gonna have to catch up on this.
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Azrael
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 08, 2008 6:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure if I've said this before, but there's few, if any, who do Spartan v. Spartan better than you do. People forget that they're GIANT, super fast, agile, impossibly powerful machines of war. When two of them collide, WOW. I think you illustrate that perfectly.

Maybe it's that other authors put Spartan actions in concert with lots of Marines in a wide field, or they're just not great at capturing that action, but it always falls flat. Your Spartan action sequences, however, never fail to disappoint. Glad to see you back.
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Turpertrator
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 8:42 pm    Post subject: wait has been rewarded Reply with quote

Nice job, Chuckles.

I did get all caught up on this series in anticipation of the release, and found this [long awaited] installment a great continuation of the story.

When I first read your draft I had a harder time following the convoy/fight scene and the "collect'em" recruiters. This time they read great ... so either you changed something (and I'm pretty sure you didn't change anything in the 'raising of Lifford' portion) or it was my problem on that day.

I do hope that you will be able to finish the series by the end of summer, but I'm way past holding my breath.

You ever gonna start playing PC games again?
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Arthur Wellesley
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuckles returns in earnest.

It's been over a year since the last installment, but time certainly hasn't affected your writing. Great stuff. The introduction, which was essentially an extreme version of a childhood fight, seemed infused with a sense of forboding. Perhaps this was because we know how that child turned out, but it also seemed to be implicit from the beginning. Another great intro.

The rest was, of course, classic Chuckles. As Az said, your Spartan v Spartan scenes are very intense. The ambush on the convoy was particularly well done. Simjanes forcing Finley to back up over the soldiers was a nice touch, showing both the brutality and desperation of the situation.

The final portion was a good note to end on as well. Very visceral; it had me cringing.

I have only one small complaint. I wasn't exactly sure how the first scene with Black moved into the second when Simjanes came to visit him. What exactly happened there?

Anyway, great fic, perfectly edited, exciting read. Good job, as always. Hope to see you around.

- Arthur
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Radont
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2008 5:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A good chapter, this. Time away from writing has not slowed you down at all. It is a testament to your writing that I didn't have to go back and re-read any of your chapters in order to understand what was going on for the most part (I had a few minor questions at first but you answered those already). Your stories definitely have a way of sticking in my mind making it easy to conjur up what has happened thus far.

Your characters from chapter to chapter and story to story are equally compelling. Bravo on creating some of the best (and deepest) fanfic characters I have ever seen.
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Chuckles
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2008 12:34 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ster wrote:
Quote:
Chuck,

There are few series that hold my attention throughout their run and your clown trilogy has done that. You really ought to write a collection of short stories and make a book of it. Heck, I'd buy it. Smile

You are, sir, the Batman of fan fiction.

Thanks Ster. I can't wait to see the comments on your new chapter, whenever it goes up. Let's hope the length doesn't scare them away.

Dave wrote:
Quote:
The first part of this really reached out to me. I've had my share of fights in elementary school and aside from, well, okay you don't need to know that story, they haven't been half as brutal as that eye-gouging. I like the way you ramped it up as I read along; starts with something minor, throw a few nasty words in there, and then stand back and watch the rest of the little pipsqueaks fight it out. Normally when kids fight I just end up laughing because they don't actually do any real damage although they take themselves so seriously, but this time I didn't laugh at all. The way you portray what would normally appear to be some mild boys-versus-girls teasing and a following schoolyard scuffle is just that brutal and I like the way she handled it. You take everything funny - clowns, schoolyard fights, multiplayer, and make it scary and that's one of the things I like so much, and you do it without the need for lots of description. Without superfluous detail or long confusing sentence structure nothing gets in the way of the story and it is able to progress at a good pace. I like that.

Yeah, that first part was important to the story. I had a friend in school when I was very young who was a really nice guy. I don't know what was going on at his home, but I saw him get picked on over and over again by other kids, until after a while he was bitter and hateful. Of course, I had to speed the process up given this is a fanfic and not a novel. Thanks for the comment.

Azrael wrote:
Quote:
I'm not sure if I've said this before, but there's few, if any, who do Spartan v. Spartan better than you do. People forget that they're GIANT, super fast, agile, impossibly powerful machines of war. When two of them collide, WOW. I think you illustrate that perfectly.

Maybe it's that other authors put Spartan actions in concert with lots of Marines in a wide field, or they're just not great at capturing that action, but it always falls flat. Your Spartan action sequences, however, never fail to disappoint. Glad to see you back.

Glad to be back. Spartans are my favorite part of Halo, especially given their dubious beginnings. Having them face off against each other is too appealing to pass up. I'm surprised more people don't try, but then, most people try to stick closer to the canon than I do--which isn't too hard Wink Thanks for reading. I'll be reviewing your latest this weekend.

Turper wrote
Quote:
I did get all caught up on this series in anticipation of the release, and found this [long awaited] installment a great continuation of the story.

When I first read your draft I had a harder time following the convoy/fight scene and the "collect'em" recruiters. This time they read great ... so either you changed something (and I'm pretty sure you didn't change anything in the 'raising of Lifford' portion) or it was my problem on that day.

I do hope that you will be able to finish the series by the end of summer, but I'm way past holding my breath.

I'll be done way before the end of summer. I'm writing again ... for real.

Arthur Wellesley wrote:
Quote:
It's been over a year since the last installment, but time certainly hasn't affected your writing. Great stuff. The introduction, which was essentially an extreme version of a childhood fight, seemed infused with a sense of forboding. Perhaps this was because we know how that child turned out, but it also seemed to be implicit from the beginning. Another great intro.

The rest was, of course, classic Chuckles. As Az said, your Spartan v Spartan scenes are very intense. The ambush on the convoy was particularly well done. Simjanes forcing Finley to back up over the soldiers was a nice touch, showing both the brutality and desperation of the situation.
The final portion was a good note to end on as well. Very visceral; it had me cringing.

Thanks Art. Always good to hear something worked the way I intended. Choosing which way to write the ambush was tricky, so I was especially glad to see your comment.
Quote:
I have only one small complaint. I wasn't exactly sure how the first scene with Black moved into the second when Simjanes came to visit him. What exactly happened there?

If you read it carefully, you'll see that it is referring to the events of the previous night. I should have made that clearer. Thanks for the comments.

Radont wrote:
Quote:
A good chapter, this. Time away from writing has not slowed you down at all. It is a testament to your writing that I didn't have to go back and re-read any of your chapters in order to understand what was going on for the most part (I had a few minor questions at first but you answered those already). Your stories definitely have a way of sticking in my mind making it easy to conjur up what has happened thus far.

Your characters from chapter to chapter and story to story are equally compelling. Bravo on creating some of the best (and deepest) fanfic characters I have ever seen.

Thanks Radont. I hope you get a chance to finish your Halo series before things get more, shall we say, complicated. Good luck and God bless.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this. The next chapter will be posted in a timely manner. Really. If anyone has any questions about this series, feel free to post it here or send me a private message.

C.T. Clown
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CoLd BlooDed
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 26, 2008 9:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh yeah, I'm still here. Fact is, I've been reading stories like crazy, just have been too caught up in things to actually comment (Grad Mexico trip in three days, baby!)

Just wanted to say, it's incredible how over an immense span of time you're still able to capture the mood and emotion as the previous chapter. You'd think as time went on, so would the author in the sense of writing tone and all that. Well, you proved me wrong.

Great work. I loved that first little segment, the 'How To Use Fear In Your Day to Day Life 101' with Aimee. It really fleshed out her character in a quick, non-violent way. Oh, and by the way, the imagery of a young Chuckles freaked me out (a teenage clown? what the fuck). Very Happy

To be honest, I didn't take my eyes off the screen, it's already been almost a week since I read it and I still vividly remember the scene with Simjanes and the officer (Black?). The subtle intensity of the conversation peaked with the soldiers running to the officers aid - I could really see it happening.

Wiley's outro was a nice touch. Now what to do with that bomb...
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