HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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The Code of The UNSC
Posted by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher/DF-Christie (rabid_masterchief@hotmail.com)
25 November 2004, 8:46 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ens_rabid_ga.1125042046201.html

Mark Lieberg · Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 10:43 am Post subject: ...

Sorry to say this.... but

UNSC

it stand for

United Nations Space Command

but if you changed it to sound good then nvm
great poem...nice....maybe the only code that should of been used was indent but other words great.
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Mark Lieberg
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MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Yeah, that is not what UNSC stands for. I think you may have had Marine Corps mixed in there, but it would have been something different. it's mentioned in a beginning cutscene in Halo 2, but I can't remember. I would have done something like UNMC for Marines, but, if you are actually refering to the 'Space Command in general, you need to get your details right.

As for the poem, it was kinda short. Add some mass in there. Like better words and symbolisjm to give it a more emotional aspect.
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-MCC

SYSTEM · Posted: Tue Nov 30, 2004 9:43 pm Post subject:

MCC - you got the "SYMBOLISM" from me, right? (Give a friendly nudge here for best results, followed by a warm grin, and a small laugh.)

Anyhow, I kinda liked it, but keep on target.

I suggest that everyone read "A Poet's Advice to Students" by E.E Cummings. It'll give you some insights if you can understand the philosophical meaning behind the thickly disguised words.

- Dave.

Commander Demitri Wolf · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:20 am Post subject:

WAYYYYYYYYYYYY Too short, 3-5 more stanzas id say but appart from that not to bad 'part from the obvious mistake in UNSC that has already been pointed out. Nice, longer, and a bit mote discriptive and it would have been quite good

Commander Demitri Wolf · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:20 am Post subject:

WAYYYYYYYYYYYY Too short, 3-5 more stanzas id say but appart from that not to bad 'part from the obvious mistake in UNSC that has already been pointed out. Nice, longer, and a bit more discriptive and it would have been quite good

Commander Demitri Wolf · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:23 am Post subject:

why does it post twice when im on this computer? its starting to annoy me

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 4:17 pm Post subject:

Thanks guys. I'm re-writing some old poems from Robert Service's great works and fitting them to the Halo universe.
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MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

Yes, Dave. You did start saying it first. Of course, at that time, I wasn't much into poems anyway, so I had no need to say it. Now, I read everything, so I have to have something to say. Besides, I stuck an extra letter in there so you couldn't sue me for copyright infringement.
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-MCC

SYSTEM · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 11:41 pm Post subject:

(Small laugh) Yeh! You're funny too.

- Dave.

Chuckles · Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 7:20 am Post subject:

A bit short and, like most Halo poems, it was somewhat corny. Don't take that too harsh: I've seen only a few poems on here that weren't corny. If you want to avoid it next time, less bravado and a lot more stark, honest emotion would go a long way.

Kudos for having the guts to do a Halo poem.

C.T. Clown