HBO Fan Fiction

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You Know My Name: 3 of 3:
Posted by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher (rabid_masterchief@hotmail.com)
27 March 2008, 10:55 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ENS_Rabid_Ga0327082255091.html

[(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher]

I don't know why it didn't go through, but the title is supposed to be 'You Know My Name: 3 of 3: "Finem Respice"
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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[kr1]

This just seemed really disjointed. It seems like this and the other two parts are single chapters from a larger story (which technically they are), but not really in a good way. I don't know, I can't really put my finger on it. Maybe it's just all the separate stories, and none of them really go together.

A lot of this could've been fixed if you'd done more than three parts, or done them longer. You tried to wrap everything up, but there were a bunch of loose ends. Like Farrior, or Young.

So, overall, as a series, this wasn't bad. It just jumps all over the place, with too many characters in not enough time. This would've benefited from a bit more connections between all the different characters, and from being longer. Portraying Halo 3 from marine POVs is ambitious, but three parts just doesn't seem to be enough to do that.

And are you doing an epilogue after this? Those side-story parts were interesting, although they didn't add much to the regular parts.
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[(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher]

Forgive me for the disjointedness. I totally agree with you: There are just too many sidestories. But there was a point to this: Consider this a prologue to another story, which I'm working on right now, but trust me, I think I screwed up a lot and it damaged this one, but I'll fix everything up.

Trust me. But, yeah kr, I am definitely writing a epilogue plus to this, which will end all of the loose cannons in here. Least I can do for all of it.

Ambitious in a good way?
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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[kr1]

Oh, so is that new series where you're going with Gallagher and the new Insurrectionists? And yeah, ambitious in a good way. Like I said, if only it'd been longer. Other than the disjointed feeling, though, it was good.
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[monitor101]

I find the side stories rather intriguing. It didn't hurt it I think. You got a good one Gallagher.
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[(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher]

Thanks!
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"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
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[Arthur Wellesley]

My last review of this series was not entirely favorable. I thought that while all the elements of a great story were there, the presentation hindered the narrative.

But this chapter? Brilliant.

The best thing about this chapter was the feeling. It wasn't any one thing, but simply the consistent tone throughout. One of heroes coming back without a heroic welcome, returning to a broken world full of broken people. It didn't have any of the Hollywoodesque triumphant return with people throwing rose petals. It was men returning to troubled families or empty bars. A great illustration was:

[Commander Valois]

Wow, that was long.
I liked it, I just found the side stories a bit confusing. There's nothing more I can really say except:

~9/10~
Super!

Keep it up, I expect to see more, ya hear?
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