HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4351

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Parcel o' Rogues
Posted by Jillybean (jbean_gotmuse@yahoo.co.uk)
21 November 2004, 8:15 PM

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=jillybean.1121042015511.html

Pajari · Member Joined: 28 Sep 2004 Posts: 100 Location: Luna

This is an excellent story. Probably the best I've ever read. The plot moved quickly, it was coherent, the detail and description was absoloutely perfect. Hell, there was evena bit of humor in there. Great job.

We need more people like yourself contributing to these forums! Keep up the good work.

-Kyle Stegerwald

Nick Kang · Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 3:35 pm Post subject:

Dude this was friggin SWEET!

Your descriptions were thorough and sent the story along on a smooth plot and peculiar events. Sweet.
_________________
Eighty percent of human wisdom is the desire to not butt into other peoples' business, and the other twenty percent doesn't matter.

'Nosolee · Member Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 73 Location: Manhattan

Very good, I liked it alot. There were some, very very minor grammatical errors, but otherwise, it was a good story.

ineptzombie · Member Joined: 23 Nov 2004 Posts: 11

Well written, like 'Nosolee said, some small grammatical errors, but nothing event-changing.

Keep it up.

SYSTEM · Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 12:46 am Post subject:

Few small glitches, but HEY!

This is great!

- Dave.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.

Phædrus · Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 5:42 pm Post subject:

The reason it took so long for me to get to this story was the name. It sounded like it was going to be a piece of crap. But this is arguably the best story in the whole damn databse. The only person who could write a better story thant this is Tom Clancy. You are awesome.

MC's Cousin · Mr. 1337 Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 2142 Location: Here.

He-heh. What do we have here? Jillybean. My my. It has been a while since I have seen you here. Unless my memory fails me.

Anyway. The writing was very good. Kept my attention without fail.
But, I still have some little things to say; who would I be without some constructive criticism?
I didn't like how it went by so fast. Yeah, the plot moved well, but the story itself I thought could have been strung out a little more. I was getting into things, but they were moving by so quickly, I couldn't grab on and savor all tha I would have liked.
I thought that some of that could have been solved by a few more descriptions and/or explenations. You know, a slight use of more detail; not to say you didn't have any.
As for your personalities, well, I thought that they were about 96 percent accurate. Not perfect [who is?] but good. I didn't have to struggle to see the words from each of them.

Overall, best piece I have read in a while. A few days at least. It wasn't super suspenseful, but I still want to see where you take this. You should write more often, man. Keep up the good work.
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-MCC

thedarkfire · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 4:11 am Post subject:

Good ol' jillybean back in action. Hope you write more often, I have always loved your work.

HoZ · Posted: Thu Dec 02, 2004 9:27 pm Post subject:

Friggn awasome. after i beat halo 2 i wondered what happend to the Arbiter, Maranda Keyes, and Sarge. (isn't it nice to see humans and covies working together, although it is strange)

YOUR AWASOME!

The Arbitress · Posted: Wed Dec 15, 2004 12:19 am Post subject:

*silence* oh....my....god.