HBO Fan Fiction

hboff · Site Admin Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352

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Daylight No More: From Love to Heartbreak
Posted by X Weary Gunner X (lmarvin@comcast.net)
13 February 2008, 1:55 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=X_Weary_Gunn0213080155121.html

(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher · Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 4:00 pm Post subject:

The title caught my eye.

But story needs some work. You see, you had a good plot going for you. Two people who are in love with each other, and one of them gets axed. But your descriptions were dull, and it was hard to push myself going through it. Just polish up on the little details, and you'll have something great on your hands. Keep working at it: I'm anticipating the next part will be great.
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