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I AM LEGENDARY: RAIN DELAY

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 1:20 pm    Post subject: I AM LEGENDARY: RAIN DELAY Reply with quote

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I AM LEGENDARY: RAIN DELAY
Posted by Mainevent (mainevent117@gmail.com)
4 January 2008, 12:27 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Mainevent0104080027401.html
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Azrael
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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your level of detail is, as always, very good. I still struggle to get through the crossover factor, which is a shame because I think this is brilliant as a standalone piece.

My only question is when you snap back to regular time after the convoy's hit, you mention seeing Ryan's lifeless eyes. Is that through a memory? It can't be present time. I was very confused at that point.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was struggling with how to write that part up to. Because it wasn't supposed to be a true flashback, just a memory.
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Commander Valois
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oooo. Me like. How long did it take you to do this? Days? Weeks? It's good. I just have a problem with the title...
I Am Legend was so freakin' awesome, man, I just feel like you took the name and changed it alittle, nothing to go crazy about.

The descriptions in your fic were, awesome, and I kinda hope to see another part to this.
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 6:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll definitely finish this. Though classes have started again so it might be a chapter every 2 weeks. But I've never been one to rush a story.
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Arthur Wellesley
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really liked that movie, and I think it totally works as a crossover with the Halo Universe. I was really impressed by the way you justified the vampire-like characteristics of the infected in the first chapter within the context of their Flood origins. Very creative, very clever. Crossovers can be iffy, but this totally makes sense, and does not rely on the movie/book at all for justification.

The (independent) story seems to be developing really nicely, too. Neville is being fleshed out through flashbacks similar in style to the movie but completely unique in content. His travels through the abandoned city was chilling and intimately described. His encounter with the mutated Flood was nicely executed as well. As a standalone series, it rates very high.

My only potential beef is Neville’s temperament—more specifically, how it relates to his dogs. While this is your character and not the movie’s (as it should be), I think Neville’s descent into solitude-induced insanity should be played up. The dogs are his only living, breathing, animate crutches left to him after nearly four years. Presumably that would get to a man. However, the extent to which you show this, if at all, is a matter of opinion rather than a true fault.

Anyway, great fic. I really enjoyed reading it.

- Arthur
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Last edited by Arthur Wellesley on Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:16 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Mainevent
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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks a lot Arthur. As far as his sanity is concerned, I haven't really had him do too much yet to show any personality quirks, but there's potential there. Especially now that there's a ship...
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