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hboff Site Admin
Joined: 25 Jul 2004 Posts: 4352
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Azrael Member

Joined: 10 Aug 2004 Posts: 504 Location: Boston
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Posted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:55 am Post subject: |
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Your level of detail is, as always, very good. I still struggle to get through the crossover factor, which is a shame because I think this is brilliant as a standalone piece.
My only question is when you snap back to regular time after the convoy's hit, you mention seeing Ryan's lifeless eyes. Is that through a memory? It can't be present time. I was very confused at that point. _________________ ...now that's some gritty shizzle.
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Mainevent Member
Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 796 Location: Mobel, Abalama
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:38 am Post subject: |
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| I was struggling with how to write that part up to. Because it wasn't supposed to be a true flashback, just a memory. |
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Commander Valois Member
Joined: 27 Oct 2007 Posts: 51
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 12:43 am Post subject: |
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Oooo. Me like. How long did it take you to do this? Days? Weeks? It's good. I just have a problem with the title...
I Am Legend was so freakin' awesome, man, I just feel like you took the name and changed it alittle, nothing to go crazy about.
The descriptions in your fic were, awesome, and I kinda hope to see another part to this. _________________ I have not been here in hella long time. |
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Mainevent Member
Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 796 Location: Mobel, Abalama
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Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 6:09 am Post subject: |
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| I'll definitely finish this. Though classes have started again so it might be a chapter every 2 weeks. But I've never been one to rush a story. |
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Arthur Wellesley Member

Joined: 30 Jun 2006 Posts: 306 Location: Canada
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 7:13 pm Post subject: |
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I really liked that movie, and I think it totally works as a crossover with the Halo Universe. I was really impressed by the way you justified the vampire-like characteristics of the infected in the first chapter within the context of their Flood origins. Very creative, very clever. Crossovers can be iffy, but this totally makes sense, and does not rely on the movie/book at all for justification.
The (independent) story seems to be developing really nicely, too. Neville is being fleshed out through flashbacks similar in style to the movie but completely unique in content. His travels through the abandoned city was chilling and intimately described. His encounter with the mutated Flood was nicely executed as well. As a standalone series, it rates very high.
My only potential beef is Neville’s temperament—more specifically, how it relates to his dogs. While this is your character and not the movie’s (as it should be), I think Neville’s descent into solitude-induced insanity should be played up. The dogs are his only living, breathing, animate crutches left to him after nearly four years. Presumably that would get to a man. However, the extent to which you show this, if at all, is a matter of opinion rather than a true fault.
Anyway, great fic. I really enjoyed reading it.
- Arthur _________________ Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever. - Napoleon
Current Project: Vestal Flame. Current Word Count: 27,017

Last edited by Arthur Wellesley on Thu Jan 10, 2008 11:16 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Mainevent Member
Joined: 30 Jul 2004 Posts: 796 Location: Mobel, Abalama
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Posted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Thanks a lot Arthur. As far as his sanity is concerned, I haven't really had him do too much yet to show any personality quirks, but there's potential there. Especially now that there's a ship... |
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