HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

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Part VII: Extinguished Flame
Posted by DarkZipper (jackson-lewis@hotmail.com)
2 January 2008, 11:48 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=DarkZipper0102082348131.html

[DarkZipper]

I realize that reading this may be a little confusing. You see, this is the last part of a series that I started two years ago. I finished the first six parts and just kind of... stopped ages ago before I got to the seventh. So a few days ago I stumbled back onto this site, noticed I had never finished the series, and I decided it was about time to fix that.

[Mad Max]

I read up on your other six parts, and reading this, I felt it concluded your series very well. I liked Gnarlg's character myself. Nice job and if you got time, I'd like to see you create another story because the descriptions you have are great and it'd be interesting to see another fanfic from you.

[Azrael]

I imagine you started writing this before the real name of the Heretic leader was divulged. God, I hate when canon gets in the way of a story. It's certainly torn my series' time line to shreds

I was confused as a first-time reader of your stuff. When you introduced the Heretic fleeing from the Arbiter, I was under the impression that Gnarlg was a Grunt. It certainly doesn't sound like an Elite name, and you never give the last name, or mention that he's an Elite.

Details like that, regardless of chapter number, should be included for your first-time readers. I know, it's a pain in the ass, but the faster your readers can get synced with your story, the sooner they'll come back for subsequent chapters. Just a word of advice.

Your level of detail is very rich and flows well. I really enjoyed this. I hope you give us another series soon!
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...now that's some gritty shizzle.