HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index HBO Fan Fiction
Forum for HBO Fan Fiction Related Stuff
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 

I AM LEGENDARY: DAY 1366

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
hboff
Site Admin


Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:41 pm    Post subject: I AM LEGENDARY: DAY 1366 Reply with quote

This topic is for posting comments to:

I AM LEGENDARY: DAY 1366
Posted by Mainevent (mainevent117@gmail.com)
20 December 2007, 6:40 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Mainevent1220070640401.html
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
SYSTEM
The Hammer


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 3743
Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 6:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh come on, Main, putting your letters in allcaps like that, you know better!

Onto the story, that there was pretty good. I liked the way you began the story with, not a statement, but a question. And a rhetorical question. The description was good and I liked the personification of the wind.

One big thumbs-up for you is the semicolon use. Finally! I've seen commasplices and many times I make 'em myself. Seeing someone out there step above and beyond what would be a more conversational type of lingo makes me happy. Of course, I wouldn't expect anythin' less from ye, mate.

Quote:
"I, I

One quibble I have with this is that this was one case where an ellipsis would've been more fitting, it's an omission or break in his speech.

I'll skip anything else I find, and get straight to the point. I liked this. No action, nothing to get in the way of the depressing air of what's happened after this place has been hit. Nobody's coming to save 'em now, and that's summed up nicely when he thinks "At least the dogs are going to get out of here alive..."

Reminds me of the Complete Zombie Survival Guide or World War Z, in a way. Live bait, sitting there, ready to get snapped up.

Good on ye! I like.
_________________
"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.

"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address
Mainevent
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 796
Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks Dave.

I know this chapter's a wee bit short, but the next chapters should be longer.

Hopefully I'm not TOO rusty at this whole writing thingamabob.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
The Militant Poet
Member


Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 5:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I refuse to read this until I see I Am Legend. I'm sorry but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's an I Am Legend crossover and I don't want the plot to be spoiled for me Razz

Hell even just look at the story title...even the name of the main character!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Mainevent
Member


Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 796
Location: Mobel, Abalama

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 7:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rest assured that this will in NO way ruin the movie for you. It's just my take on the semi-basic plot elements in the Haloverse.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
The Militant Poet
Member


Joined: 13 Oct 2007
Posts: 44

PostPosted: Sun Dec 23, 2007 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well. alright. I'll give it a look-see.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Killabot 69
Member


Joined: 01 Jan 2008
Posts: 2
Location: Bundanoon, Australia

PostPosted: Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I understand that you have simply taken I Am Legend plot elements and put them into a similar situation, and that it was intended to be different; but the end product just seems to be a cheap rip-off of Matheson's masterpiece.
A good effort, but perhaps something more original is in order.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    HBO Fan Fiction Forum Index -> Fan Fiction Comments All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group