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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
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SYSTEM
The Hammer
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 3744
Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie
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 Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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Good job, 006. I haven't got a soundtrack to this song, but it sure does look pretty good, and it reads pretty well. Of course, there's no rhyming scheme, and that seems to mess things up quite a bit. That's my only problem with it.
It's a pity TFMCBG (Tales From MC's Bar & Grill) is going to be discontinued and renamed. But thanks for the honourable mention.
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"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.
"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations. |
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Spartan006
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Joined: 17 Mar 2006
Posts: 366
Location: On the worst internet ever...for real.
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 12:36 am Post subject: |
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Thanks Dave. Actually, the real song doesn't rhyme either so I didn't bother going through and trying to make it rhyme for this. Hope you can find the song, it's The 12 Days of Christmas.
Also, I forgot to put in an author's note, but just because you are in this ( or not in this ) doesn't mean anything, you just fit the part. Thank You.
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Randomly invading your fanfiction since 2006. |
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Mad Max
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Joined: 22 Dec 2007
Posts: 40
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 3:17 am Post subject: |
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| Haha, dude this was beast. Being a music artist myself, I think everything was perfect. The flow of the lyrics to the tune of the song was flawlessly executed, and I think you did a great job man. |
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SYSTEM
The Hammer
Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 3744
Location: Tango, Oscar, Charlie
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 5:12 am Post subject: |
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| Spartan006 wrote: | Thanks Dave. Actually, the real song doesn't rhyme either so I didn't bother going through and trying to make it rhyme for this. Hope you can find the song, it's The 12 Days of Christmas.
Also, I forgot to put in an author's note, but just because you are in this ( or not in this ) doesn't mean anything, you just fit the part. Thank You. |
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me,
A partridge in a pear tree.
The 'ee' sounds on 'me' and 'tree' rhyme in the first verse, although I guess that's really nothing in the end. Just razzin' ya, pal. Still great. I'll try going through to see if all the syllables match up later, but I'm pretty sure that's up to you in the end.
I wish I had more time to record a metal version of this... of course, with a three-minute guitar solo of sheer doom. I've been busy as stink, unfortunately.
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"Lizzie Borden took an axe and gave her mother forty whacks. When she saw what she had done, she gave her father forty-one." - A child's nursery rhyme.
"When in doubt, empty your magazine." - Murphy's first law of combat operations. |
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Sterfrye36
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Joined: 30 Jul 2004
Posts: 419
Location: The Good Old US of A!
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2007 5:23 am Post subject: |
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Cute, man, cute. There's not really a whole lot to add to this, but I think it seems appropriate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Fe11OlMiz8
Enjoy!
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