HBO Fan Fiction

[hboff]

This topic is for posting comments to:

You Know My Name; Sergeant Reynolds: 1 of 3
Posted by (ENS) Rabid_Gallagher (rabid_masterchief@hotmail.com)
15 December 2007, 9:51 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=ENS_Rabid_Ga1215072151271.html

[The Militant Poet]

hmmm...a narration of Halo 3 from a marine perspective with a little love sidestory...nice. And considering the fact that all of those little tokens of dialogue and events actually happened, and that it is possible for all of those events to have Reynolds in them gives this piece alot of credability. I like that.

There were a few flow issues in the later third of the story, but it wasn't too significant. I couldn't see any GPS errors (but it's late so I may have missed some), so kudos for that. Overall I think you did a good job

8/10

looking foward to part 2!

[Mad Max]

I was feeling the gist of the story, and it built up very nicely. Although I dont think romance is a good topic when it comes to Halo, because normally its not there at all, the introduction of it in yer story is both interesting and unique.

9/10

[(ENS) Rabid_Gallagher]

I agree, it isn't. That's why it isn't in the story. If I implied it, I'm sorry.

Working on the second, so, I'll take your notions and put them in.

EDIT: The story about Luke is a flimsy. That will be explained later on.
_________________

"My appreciation for being quoted is being masked by my distaste for your incompetence, Gallagher" - Shrumertaor
Idea, Plot, Character, and Forum Signatures

[Mad Max]

haha yes you did imply it, but good job with that though, it makes the reader think about different thoughts the characters have

[kr1]

This was interesting. I always like when background characters are given their own stories.

There were several issues I saw throughout the story. First, there was a lot of tense confusion. Every so often you'd use present rather than past tense. The part that stood out most was this: