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Echoes

 
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hboff
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 4:49 am    Post subject: Echoes Reply with quote

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Echoes
Posted by The Meep (HaloFanatic101@yahoo.com)
6 December 2007, 10:30 pm

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=The_Meep1206072230201.html
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The Meep
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 79
Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs

PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 4:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*puts on firesuit*

Ok, this is the first poetry I've written.

Ever.

...

Seriously.

I've always had a bias towards it, for some reason, but decided to give it a try, and what you see is the end product. Don't expect me to return too soon, I prefer writing good ol' fashioned stories any day.

Also, I'm working on a rewrite of a 15 + month old story I wrote. That might make it into the cyberspace soon.

~I~
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Spartan006
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Joined: 17 Mar 2006
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PostPosted: Fri Dec 07, 2007 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice, Meep. Good length, nice message, but you had some problems with capitalization. Every new line of a poem needs to be capitalized, and there were also some words in the middle of some lines that were capitalized that didn't need to be. For someone who's never written poetry before you're pretty good. 8/10
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J. D. Ford
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Joined: 20 Sep 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 1:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Actually, I disagree. Whilst I personally capitalize every line in the few bits of poetry I write, there were/are many famous poets who did/do not. Emily Dickinson (*shudder*) is one prime example.

So...on to my meager comment.

I. LOVED. THIS. PIECE. PERIOD, EXCLAMATION POINT, AMPERSAND.

Ok, so the ampersand was a little unnecessary...I just couldn't help myself. Seriously, Meep, you've really captured something here. I'm not a poetry nut, and I don't really feel qualified to comment on the rhyme scheme or anything, but the mood is fantastic.

Two opposable digits waaay, way up.


~J. D. Ford
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The Meep
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, uh, thanks. heh

I literally started to write a story, said "This sucks," then jotted down that poem in about, er, thirty minutes or so. Completely unrelated. I didn't know what I was writing about.

As a writer, you know what I mean, right? Sometimes you just write, and see what happens.

Also, the capitalization was intentional. I don't know about you, but I never saw a rule saying that. Poetry can be anything: rhyme, capitlization, structure, even spelling are all superficial, and only serve to spice up a poem. I used capitalization here to provide indirect emphasis on certain statements and words, not to follow grammatical rules.

Thanks for the comments. This really made my night! Er, morning! Ya...

~I~
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The Militant Poet
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Joined: 13 Oct 2007
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PostPosted: Sat Dec 08, 2007 5:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I for one, thought this was a beautifully written piece. It definately captures the "What now?" feelings I had after the end of the Human Covenant war. The way you expressed man kind's new responsability to contain the Flood and keep peace in the Galaxy was also VERY well written. Great Work!

9/10!
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