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The Auxilliaries Chap 1: Prolouge/ Death to the Auxilliaries

 
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hboff
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Joined: 25 Jul 2004
Posts: 4356

PostPosted: Sun Nov 25, 2007 5:17 pm    Post subject: The Auxilliaries Chap 1: Prolouge/ Death to the Auxilliaries Reply with quote

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The Auxilliaries Chap 1: Prolouge/ Death to the Auxilliaries
Posted by Zikor paleotek (Zikor@comcast.net)
17 November 2007, 4:12 am

http://halosn.bungie.org/fanfic/?story=Zikor_paleot1117070412021.html
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Greenmjolnir
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Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 14
Location: Fringes of reality

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In your author's note you mentioned that you spelled a character's name wrong. That wasn't the only thing that needed a change of spelling. Your little story is littered with grammer and spelling errors, as well as a lack of indents. The spacing is a plus that many new authors miss, but you did well on that. I would say do more proofreading or possibly post smaller, and more questionable segments of future chapters in the FanFic forum for review.

As for the story, it seemed rushed and a little bumpy. The new take is something interesting as for having human's work with the covenant much like the non-Roman soldiers working in the Roman Army. The allusion to that time is nice, and I hope future similarities are shown in this series, as well as obvious differences. I suggest taking your time and playing with the story before rushing to post it. Cheers!

I give it...

7/10 for originality
4/10 for grammer and spelling
6/10 for flow and interest

For a total of: 17/30 (D)
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Zikor paleotek
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Joined: 16 Dec 2007
Posts: 1

PostPosted: Sun Dec 16, 2007 10:23 pm    Post subject: thanks Reply with quote

Well thanks man. I know i did have afew grammer glitches here and there but i either A. didnt notie em or B. my keybaord wasnt cooperating.

but still thanks.
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The Meep
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Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 79
Location: Auburn, Maine E-mail me if there are any nearby LANs

PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

coughproofreadcough

Seriously though, GPS errors are INEXCUSABLE at HBOFF. There really is no way you can have GPS errors in your final product if you don't want them to be. In that post above me, you have eight, yes, EIGHT Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation errors. Just rereading a story can flush out the majority of them.

I look at it this way. If the author didn't put the effort in to reread and fix up his story, why should I take the effort to suffer through it?

~I~
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